LINK LOVE

Many of my readers are exercise freaks: they freak out whenever they have to do some strenuous exercise. Like turning the orbits 5 degrees to the right and scroll down two inches to check into the blogroll of authors whose glorious names are enshrined forever in the posteriority posterity of the internet. These readers have no energy for mousework beyond that required to just get into this blog (pant, pant)! Some have dispensed even with that. They get their fix from emails. Now, it is my singular intention to drive those readers into reading the exciting blogs of my friends.
Since I cannot anticipate exactly what these folks will post next, I am imagining how the next post could be like. If you get interested, then do visit my friends.

    NITA (A WIDE-EYED VIEW OF INDIA)
    Is the Nightie going to disappear?

According to this report prepared by the Indian Association of Garment Retailers, sales of the nightie (the single garment that covers the body from neck to toes favored erstwhile by urban Indian women) are falling. Indian males, according to this report, are very conservative, and 105 percent of them think the nightie is too revealing when their own wives, daughters and sisters are wearing them. Even my milkman told me that he threw out his wife for wearing a nightie. At the same time, he does not mind roaming around in his lungi at home. Typical male double standards, huh!
Women, on the other hand, this study reveals, don’t agree. 35 percent think the Burkha is too revealing and vulgar.

(two paragraphs skipped)

According to the World Negligeé Research Center, the statistics from other countries are startling.
Kenyan women and Kosovo’s women have something in common with ….
Picture copyrighted to me.

To read more, visit Nita‘s record-breaking (in terms of readership/research/comments) blog.

    SHEFALY (LE WILY QUOTING INDIAN)
    Another Award!

Randy, Dandy and Arancini-Blogsmith have all, for some strange reason, awarded me an award of Overwhelming and Profound Blogger. I am in two minds: part of me asks, like Nagasaki Haragawa asks in his profound blog, where do I show my profundity? I never mean to intimidate people with my PhD and sundry other degrees. I merely ask people to think like B-school graduates with additional capabilities in French and Cambridge Inglees.
The other part of me, busy as it is in creating Hawt Posts, spearheading research projects to slim down residents of the EU, increasing the profitability of certain charitable Banks in Geneva and Zurich, and completing another PhD on ‘Communicating with Unfathomable Giants of the Post-Modern World’, is pleased that serious readers, among them Alex Allergia and Constant Horsense, are now regulars….

For more of Shefaly‘s unique brand of blogging, click here.

    PAUL (CAFE FELLOWS)
    Title Does Not Matter

I often wonder, while I lay by the side of Caroline, Betty and Paris, “why does man need to have sex?” Isn’t it so much more comfortable to be just, well, asexually confused?

Next post:

Andy Borowitz says white supremacists will not vote for Obama because he is black. Now, it seems Borowitz is himself a sort of KKK fluke without the hood. Obama, of course, is not black, he is a victim of advanced melanosis…..

Next post:

I met an old friend in a coffee shop where I tried to find shelter from a couple of overly friendly women who were chasing me. My friend was torn apart in conflict. Or at least his underwear was. One leg wanted to go to the bar, and the other to church. I wondered, does God understand this important fact: that one’s underwear needs to be free of tension and conflict? And do we need to wear underwear to Church? What do you think?

For the intellectual aroma of Cafe Philos, click here.

    PRERNA (I LOVE THE HIGH LIFE)

I went with my two dogs, Jai and Veeru, for a walk to the Tughlakabad Fort which is near my million-dollar residence. I have never been to the Fort, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how beautifully it was kept by the monkeys of the Fort and the Government. I thought of an Urdu shairee by ghalib:
“Dard ho dill mein to dawakijay
Dill hi jab dard ho to kya kijay”.
I know the couplet is irrelevant, but we Dilliwallahs are like this only.

For Prerna’s interesting blog, walk in here.

    BANCHEESE (WORDS)
    Neologism of the Day

Sal-sa-va-tion n.
(modern American ‘Salsa’- Mexican sauce with chillies and tomatoes + ‘saliva’- spit + ‘salvation’- you know what it means).
The state of bliss when there is a spurt of saliva in the mouth following a mouthful of spicy salsa.
“The remark fell on deaf ears, as Rambo was in a state of intense salsavation“.

For more inventive English, click here.
I realise there are lots of other blogs I need to lead you to, but let us stop here for the moment. That way I get to retain at least some of my friends in the blogosphere!

47 responses to “LINK LOVE

  1. I have never taken so long to read a blog post (even though I am a superfast reader) because after reading two lines I would get a laughing fit and now tears are rolling down my eyes. My stomach is aching. This is one of your funniest posts to date and for this I will give you an award. I have not laughed so much even in Singh is Kinng! So Doc is the King, not Singh.
    And how in the world did you get my formula so right??? :lol: You do read my blog!
    Now I am in a dilemma. Should I continue posting or should I wait awhile for the echoes of laughter from the blogosphere to die down!! I think I will continue with my wide-eyed outrage about the double standards of our society. Expect a hard-hitting post tomorrow!

  2. Doc, simply put, that was the funniest thing I can recall reading on a blog anywhere. You’ve set a new standard for humor (and thank you for that!). I laughed so hard, one of the women clinging to me mistook my heaving chest and shoulders for sexual advances. What is a poor celibate to do when you write posts like that?

  3. Pingback: How Dare He! « Café Philos: an internet café

  4. Doc:

    Even by your standards, this post is unprecedented in its side-splitting hilarity. One might express gratitude at this unique, if somewhat odd, expression of love, er, link-love.

    I think I really mustn’t let you down (although being let down might be the only chance some have to glimpse at the depths of my profundity) by not leaving a profound observation.

    Ooh, there you are – let down! Can you see my profundity yet? ;-)

  5. Pingback: A link-love(ly) day « La Vie Quotidienne

  6. Good collection of craziness! However no one can throw around those devastating puns like you.

  7. This is hilarious :) You should seriously consider starting a weekly series of posts like these!

    And yes, I can’t wait to see what you will say of my blog :)

  8. Lekhni:
    Don’t tempt me. You may never speak to me afterwords! :-)
    Marc:
    Thanks, mate!
    Shefaly:
    I, for one, cannot miss that deliberate act of profundity!
    Paul: :-)
    Nita:
    I may not comment on many days, but am always there close by lurking, watching, waiting to pounce on some issue. Its good for you I barely make time for blogging these days: else you would have been screaming your head off at me for my comments.
    ALL:
    Thanks for being so sporting and appreciative. I am grateful for the fact that you people are able to laugh at yourselves. It speaks highly of you, at least in my books!

  9. First of all Jai and Veeru would like to express their gratitude for making them celebrities overnight. It is a great honour to feature on the great doc’s blog. Secondly Urdu language, Mirza Ghalib and Dilliwallas will be eternally grateful to you for making them irrelevant yet so popular. Finally my humble abode, Tuglaqabad ruins and the monkeys residing in the fort would like to express their happiness for finding a place on your esteemed blog. Your diagnosis is amazing. A monkey and a balcony is all that is required to find out the ailment, location and extent of the disease!

    After working like a doc in Srilanka your twisted mind has produced excellent results. I would like to declare Srilanka a pilgrimage centre for all bloggers. Milkha Singh has recommended Abhinav Bindra’s name for Bharat Ratna after winning a single gold in the Olympics, this one post of yours should be enough to fetch you the award for the funniest Indian blogger :)

  10. Vivek Khadpekar

    @ Doc:

    This is terrific!

    Your milkman is not a patch on my dhobi: he threw out his wife AND two daughters for wearing a nightie (I mean three separate items, not the three of them in one), and none of them had squandered family earnings either. It turns out that he had set the said garments aside for gifting to someone his wife did not know about.

    Now he faces police action, instituted severally by

    the wife (on charges of marital infidelity; domestic violence),

    the two daughters (domestic violence),

    the respective owners of the three nighties (breach of trust; theft) and

    the Other Woman (for breach of promise).

  11. Prerna, kya baat hai! I bow to your comment. It’s the best.

  12. @ R-Doc:

    I found just the right kind of blog for you.

    http://www.chickenmonkeydog.com

    Serious. I did not make it up. Two brothers write it – one in the UK, the other in the USA.

  13. :-D amused and releaved

  14. Doctor sahaab, shaandaar! I have added all of them on my reader! ;)

    (BTW, you did not respond to me giving you an award. That was rude, you know!) ;)

  15. I read Nita, Shefaly and Pr3rna’s blog. Their blog post samples are both apt and funny. Nita is right when she exclaims how did you get her formula right. :)

  16. Prerna:
    Thank you for such a gracious and overly kind comment!
    Prax:
    Don’t be so amused. It’s gonna be you next!
    Kris:
    Of course not: you are in stupid Blogger where comments bounce!
    Poonam:
    Thanks! :-)

  17. Both Paul and Nita are wonderful bloggers who post interesting and hard hitting features. Glad to see the *other* side of the sheets.

  18. Good to hear you are going to “do” other blogs (I almost wrote “do in”) Besides Prax, I suggest Nikhil;s mirror cracked and ofcourse there’s Poonam and Nova and Ruhi. Oh, and don’t forget Priyank! These are just for starters.
    I hope you don’t keep us waiting until the next long week-end.

  19. Wow! What a cool idea for a post. You’re truly a blog master, Doc, for the ability to write not only in your own words but those of others. This makes me want to post more neologisms. Thanks for the recognition!

  20. When I read this, I laughed out so loud that everyone in my office was staring at me. :lol: I can’t pick the best one out. Each of them is a gem.

  21. Rambodoc, I have awarded you the Brilliant weblog award which I got from three people in the past week. This brilliant weblog award is a virus that is fast catching on! You need to pick it up from the My awards page as I usually mention these things in my weekly summary posts, which I shall do this week. I thought I would tell you before because I wanted to be the first one to give it to you! :)
    And btw, there’s Amit of Mashed Musings. Don’t forget his blog which is also good fodder for you!

  22. Doc , I dont mind free publicity ;-)

    Didn’t someone say any publicity is good publicity?

  23. I fully agree with nita – both of u r the most dedicated, brilliant and lucid blogger s

    But with u doc – there is an added bonus
    u somehow manage to make me :-)

  24. Today is your lucky day. Your blog’s just been felicitated. By me. Please stop by and collect your award.
    *T&C apply!*

    Cheers,
    Quirky Indian

    http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com

  25. Vivek:
    Sorry, I missed replying to your funny story. Thanks.
    Nita:
    Thanks so much. I will try to find out what ‘get the award’ entails.
    Quirky Indian:
    Thanks for visiting and for the award.
    Brian:
    Hey, welcome back. I recall you had been here a hundred years back!
    Amit and Prax:
    I am so glad you found this funny.
    Bancheese:
    I hope you blog more often. You are missed.

  26. awwwwwwwwwwww

    group hug everyone

    phull love is all around us :)

  27. I loved your “Imblogsonation” of Nita’s blog. Of all the things you had to choose the Nightie and I was laughing out loud for that title alone. Hilarious post.

  28. Ahumanbean:
    That is an awphull comment! :-D
    Dinesh Babu:
    Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed it. Welcome to this blog!

  29. wow wow incredible post, you should be cloned..!

  30. Ha, ha, Priyank! The earth would then split and swallow up the twisted twins!
    Thanks!

  31. :D :D LOL i m still laughing!! Among these I read Nita’s and Shefaly’s and the blog mimicry was fantastic. really funny post. And I second Nita’s suggestion. Please “do” Nikhil’s blog.

  32. Hey Doc

    I am here for the first time and man, am i happy to be here! This was awesome… :D :D i just cant stop laughing! And i ‘third” nita and reema, please do “nikhil’s blog” and also reema’s

  33. @Sakhi Bachhuuuuuuu ab tu nahi bachegi. U suggested my blog??? Rukkkk abbb.

  34. Sakhi & Reema:
    Give me some time, I will do you, too! I don’t know Nikhil, so I guess I will need to find him first.

  35. @ R-doc

    why me, why me! :) ;) And here is nikhil’s blog link

    http://mirrorcracked.wordpress.com/

    @ Reema

    mujhe badaa maza aane wala hai :P :P

  36. So nice of RDoc but please no thanks. U will have to read and comment my last 10 posts then only u will get to know my blog better, get to know its “feel” and then do it :P :P

  37. Reema ko dar lag raha hai kya? :P :P

  38. Reema:
    I will take my own time, don’t you worry.
    It is actually difficult to write in someone else’s style. So, you have to get a real feel of the person before you do so. You gotta think and speak like her/him.
    Try it, it’s fun!
    Sakhi: :-)

  39. Pingback: Nominations So Far… « Visceral Observations

  40. @Doc ; Discovered you through the ‘Nominations So Far… « Visceral Observations’, what can I say I am a fan now :)

  41. Pingback: Final List of Nominated Posts « Visceral Observations

  42. Pingback: Recent Links Tagged With "neologism" - JabberTags

  43. Pingback: Avant Garde Bloggies Awards - Winners « Visceral Observations

  44. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  45. Sign: zdbrw Hello!!! dafqd and 6702tvaqukpwea and 4178 : I love your site. :) Love design!!! I just came across your blog and wanted to say that Ive really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.

  46. hey , nice blog , like it ,
    won’t be nice if i u can clickover to my blog page too ,
    & post some suggestion

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