JEST FOR KIDS 06-18-07


Thanks, Stan Kegel!

Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

RIDDLES

What do you get when you cross a gorilla with a ceramicist?
A hairy potter. (Richard Lederer)

Why was the little ink drop depressed?
Because his father was in the pen and wasn’t coming out until the end of his sentence. (Gary Hallock)

What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Quit stalking me.

What do bees use to make their hair look nice?
Honey combs

Why do people buy things with their credit cards?
They get a charge out of it.

PUNS

When Peter Pan spoke to Captain Hook he made an off-hand comment.

My cavity wasn’t fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was filling in.

In the winter my dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.

He worked at a factory making eye glasses and was pushed into the machine. He made a spectacle of himself. He was framed.

GROANERS

One time we were driving through a construction zone and the sign said, SPEED LIMIT 35 AHEAD. Since my mom was not with us my dad said, ‘Hey, son, there are TWO of us in the car; you do the math. We were through there in no time!

OTHER HUMOR

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
‘I’ll do a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use,
2B or not 2B?’
(Spike Milligan)

Children should be seen but not herded. (Anthony Gray)

“Waiter Waiter, there is a spider in my soup!”
“Yes sir, I put it there to catch the fly.”

“Goodbye and thanks for the radio,” said Torn with a short wave. (Stan Kegel)

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44? Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s