SEARCHING IN THE WRONG PLACE!


I am used to having people search for ‘Celine and FTV’, ‘Condoms’, ‘vibrating condoms’, ‘Vibrating condoms-how they work’, and enter my blog. Many spend 0:00 minutes in the blog, some do spend decent time, and a few become regulars. I am astonished, however, to note what all stuff people Google for, and where they land. Imagine you searching for a red light area in a new city and you end up spending your evening in a temple!
Today it was ‘large scrotum‘, and someone managed to find me. I mean, not me as a representative of the condition, but this blog. I mean, I have the balls to say what I want to the way I want to, but isn’t ‘Big Scrotum’ a bit too much? I surely can’t advertise for that! The search result just before mine was a site in Jakarta that says “He had testicles the size of medium-large potatoes. … are drugs to kill the parasite but it’s best to take these before the scrotum swells up like this. ” Very interesting, I am sure, but he must be talking of filariasis, which doesn’t move me.
Today, another search that led into this blog was, believe it or not, ‘what is the name of the hole in which the urine comes out of a female?” Fortunately, I was in honorable company, with Addenbrooke’s Hospital as the number one hit. This search led to my The Third World post, which dealt with gender benders. Now, I am sure this must be one of the new illiterates, who can press thirty different keystrokes in a blur but only type out sms lang wth min ffrt. On top of that, this person does not even know the hole story of life.
Next, “Botox availability in limerick” led to one of my limerick posts. What do these guys think? That someone will have created a limerick only on ‘Botox availability’ so that they can use it in their PowerPoint presentations and look less retarded? Unless that person is me, or someone more retarded.
‘Antonio villaraigosa is a typical mexican male cheater’ was one that I flunked. Just dunno how that hit me.
I am sure there are lots of you who laugh out at some weird searches that found you. I still find some satisfaction in being hit with ‘life of a surgeon’ (its lots of sex, I mean stress, and makes you less money than good old shopkeeping, trading or lawyering does) , or ‘treatment of piles without surgery’ (wait till I get my hands on you!), or, best of all, “b. ramana gall bladder surgeon kolkata” (Nothing but the best for you, mate? Hope you are carrying lots of cash!?)
What about you?

9 responses to “SEARCHING IN THE WRONG PLACE!

  1. The way the search engines find our blogs – is indeed crazy. But crazier than that is the way people phrase their search strings !!
    The only trouble I had with this was a battery of unwanted traffic, and that ate my bandwidth. Trust me, it did matter at a time when all resources were limited πŸ™‚

  2. well, Doc, thanks to these phrases in bold in this post, you haven’t quite seen the last of those lost souls stumbling upon your blog! I wouldn’t be surprised if it got worse from now on! πŸ™‚

    P.S: My blog turns up first or second when people search for TVS Scooty Pep – ‘coz I wrote one single line (yep, just one single line) on that subject!

  3. funny post :))
    I dbt if my link wld turn up in search even if the address is given 😦
    btw…what is the relevancy of that pic with this post…it looks more like ‘flash back ‘ πŸ˜‰

  4. I like your new digs. I have changed my link, as requested. I hope you enjoy your new home.

    Choose Happiness,

  5. Oh man, looks I’m much better off. Even though I turn up for ‘want to buy fogging machine to control mosquito in chennai’.

  6. Priya,
    Ha! Welcome here, and keep comin’!
    Sree,
    Trust people not to recognize genius till it is buried 6 feet under ground for 400 years. That pic was taken from “Unseen Art Treasures of The Modern World” by some vague doctor.
    Powerkis,
    I almost didn’t recognize you in that name!
    Marc,
    Welcome! πŸ™‚
    There are mosquitoes here in Kolkata, too! Looks like you have a career already waiting for you!!

  7. Hmm…so you’ve chosen Ashok’s WordPress template, eh? Looks good – definitely mucho bettero than the old greeny mushy one!

    Glad to know that you transitioned the blog without any hassles.

    And thanks for starting off in style on wordpress – your google hits are not at all surprising given that you write about…, well, what you write about! πŸ™‚

    PS: No disclosures from my side. Am thinking of saving them for a post like yours!

  8. Mahendra,
    I don’t know zilch about anyone’s template. Everything I saw I liked. Just picked this one. May even customise it one day!
    I am having a problem linking the text to other sites. The tutorials are ok, but the HTML coding, which works in the comments sections, doesn’t work in the posts. And I try clicking the chain and all that, but this seems less than easy. I got used to Blogger, but this will maybe take a lil time.

  9. Oh, BTW, do check out Krish Ashok’s take on this.
    Unique in his style, and hilarious enough to endanger your health sometimes.

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