BIN LADEN IS DYEING!

See, I told ya! In a previous post, I told ya how Osama bin Laden had an iPhone. I told ya how he is living in a modern-day cave in Pakistan and has access to all the latest technologies that al Gore Al Gore uses, without causing any increase in ambient temperatures, leave alone warming on a global level.
In the news all over the world, Laden lectures the US from in front of what looks like a highlighted wall, and uses references that the US Government provides free in its websites for the world to use.
He identifies capitalism as his main enemy and Noam Chomsky as his sympathizer. I couldn’t agree more!
Laden has even managed to get hold of L’Oreal and dye his hair. Now, what else could you want in life? Immortal in history, pantheonized in Islam, parodied in blogs, Osama is now the epitome of success and excess, both.
I understand from my secret sources that he has a pair of bimbettes from Las Vegas in a couple of private bedrooms beside his nuclear lab, in the floor above his environmental terror unit, and in front of his nanotechnology research lab. In case you lose your way in his lair, you can see a map in the genomics division (where research is on to enable Osama to spike the water supply in a country so that all those who drink the water would give birth to children each of whose one arm would be replaced by an AK-56 rifle, and the brain replaced by a timed explosive device).
In case you think such infrastructure is very hard to conceal, I agree, except to disagree. Robert Ludlum’s Jason Bourne used to say (before Matt Damon killed him) that the best place to hide something is to keep it in the most visible, public and unlikely place.
I have a feeling that bin Laden is ensconced in the CIA headquarters at Arlington disguised as a disguised bin Laden who is being trained to replace bin Laden.

11 responses to “BIN LADEN IS DYEING!

  1. The BBC news headline blurb says “Americans should “embrace Islam” to stop the Iraq war, says a video from al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden”
    Um, yeah. How is that news? Isn’t that what he’s been saying all along?

    No, actually he has been saying the reverse: that Islam would embrace the Americans (a deathly embrace).
    Now he is being benevolent and soft and offering a way out for the Americans.
    BTW, welcome!

  2. At least someone is taking Bin Laden with a pinch of salt! 😀 But honestly, the guy is quite a ridiculous caricature of a real life person! You have put it well. A cartoon serious on his antics would be a big hit…but I guess we will have to wait for another 100 years. Or maybe 300! I have a feeling the guy is immortal…a lookalike son could take his place and he will go on and on…

    Nita,
    Maybe he’s the first real case of human cloning, the original an Irishman. Hence the name: O’Sama!
    😀

  3. Bin Laden finds time to dye his beard. Great ! he took some time off from his terrorist plannings. I am sure a couple of hundreds are saved.

    Prerna,
    Finally, we get to see a successful black op!
    🙂

  4. L’Oreal. Because he is worth it!


    LOL!!!
    😀

  5. I suspect that Bin Laden is disguised as a doctor in Kolkotha, who blew his cover as Bin Laden as a CIA agent quite deliberately. My top 5 reasons for thinking so:
    (5) The doc’s views on capitalism and Chomsky matches those of OBL.
    (4) He is an expert in cloning. His products are quite visible if you turned the glitzy pages of any Bollywood magazine.
    (3) The doc prefers the same dye that OBL does. How else could he have such shiny black hair, and infinite wisdom, too?
    (2) The doc’s vaginal monoblog reveals that he is a master of plastic surgery, too. He can disguise himself as Jane Fonda, if he so wished.
    (1) The pair of bimbettes from Las Vegas could not have lied to me in their email, could they?

    RF,
    Brilliant conclusion (and comment), but wrong on some counts!
    Said doc seems not to reside in any Bollywood mag, nor anywhere, actually!
    Don’t presume he is an expert in anything at all, just because he comments on one and all!
    The bimbette part is verily true (he hopes!).
    🙂

  6. Nice writeup…I told you, you could foretell things!

    There’s an Osama “look-alike” who was arrested in Sydney near the hotel in which Bush was staying!

    M,
    I used advanced telepsychopalmology (mind-bending) technology that I learnt from a blog called An Unquiet Mind.
    🙂

  7. Rambodoc: You’re irresistibly humorous!

  8. LOL..Yep, you told us!

  9. hi doc

    first i think factually the nuke lab should be below the bio lab – but with laden sub chalega …
    plus if not at arlington he would always be welcome to stay with Bandar Bush or do horse riding at Crawford, Texas, or tan with his bitches at Camp David

  10. Pingback: IS BIN LADEN DEAD? « A Twist of Word and Mind

  11. Pingback: DANGEROUS SPIN « Kilburn Hall’s Weblog

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