Andy Borowitz (about whom I learnt from Arunk) speaks in today’s report:
Yesterday the Borowitz Report reported that was planning a “really mean” limerick about General David Petraeus. According to the story, Moveon had composed the first four lines of the poem, but was stumped about the fifth and last line:

Hey there, General Petraeus
You should be called General Betray-us
Your views on Iraq
Are one big crock
(last line here)

Within minutes, The Borowitz Report was deluged with hundreds of submissions from readers offering a last line to’s mean limerick. While almost all of the submissions rhymed with “Petraeus” and some of them even made sense, here are the lines that the Borowitz Report has decided to forward to

“Get us out before they fillet us.”

“Urging private contractors to slay us.”

“And when will the world pay us?”

From Shakespeare:

“This doth really dismay us.”

From Bob Barker:

“Don’t forget to neuter and spay us.”

And from Yoda:

“Please remove from this fray us.”

*** end of report***

I says, nice tries, dudes, but make way for the professionals.
Here is one, really, really mean, from A Twist of Word and Mind:

Oye, General Petraeus!
Did you really betray us?
You came over Iraq’s
Bloody limbs and cracks,
And with enough to spray us!


  1. Doc: ‘spray us’ with blood really is graphic! Not just a twist of word and mind, but body as well…(I’m sorry if my demented mind misunderstood the pun or failed to recognize the humor).

    Also, a reference or link to where you learnt about Borowitz’s report would have been gracious as well! 🙂

    Sure, missed it in the rush of life! Sorry, Arun!!

  2. Ah no problem doc. I really wouldn’t have minded either way – but thanks.

    “You came over Iraq’s Bloody limbs and cracks” – I am blanking here. I don’t get the twist of word here. “cracks” I think I got but “came over Iraq”?

  3. Rambodoc: I didn’t expect you to take my comment so seriously but I’m glad that you did! After all, Arun deserved it! 🙂

    Arun: I’m frequenly ‘blanked’ by Rambodoc’s humor myself, but prefer to hide my ignorance to myself rather than making a fool of myself out in the open! 🙂 I’m not so easily given to twisting the word and the mind…but whenever I am able to catch Rambodoc’s humor, I enjoy my day and feel privileged!

  4. I liked Yoda’s finish.

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