Andy Borowitz (about whom I learnt from Arunk) speaks in today’s report:
Yesterday the Borowitz Report reported that Moveon.org was planning a “really mean” limerick about General David Petraeus. According to the story, Moveon had composed the first four lines of the poem, but was stumped about the fifth and last line:
Hey there, General Petraeus
You should be called General Betray-us
Your views on Iraq
Are one big crock
(last line here)
Within minutes, The Borowitz Report was deluged with hundreds of submissions from readers offering a last line to Moveon.org’s mean limerick. While almost all of the submissions rhymed with “Petraeus” and some of them even made sense, here are the lines that the Borowitz Report has decided to forward to Moveon.org:
“Get us out before they fillet us.”
“Urging private contractors to slay us.”
“And when will the world pay us?”
“This doth really dismay us.”
From Bob Barker:
“Don’t forget to neuter and spay us.”
And from Yoda:
“Please remove from this fray us.”
*** end of report***
I says, nice tries, dudes, but make way for the professionals.
Here is one, really, really mean, from A Twist of Word and Mind:
Oye, General Petraeus!
Did you really betray us?
You came over Iraq’s
Bloody limbs and cracks,
And with enough to spray us!