BAKWAS KHABAR 13.10.07.

Infants’ cold medicines have been withdrawn from the market.
The immediate fallout was that the UPA Government caught a bad cold from the 123 virus.
Dr. ElBaradei was consulted in New Delhi, but did not impress the patient, Manmohan Singh. Singh has called Dr. Karat, a famous specialist in stopping things cold, for a second opinion.

Kareena Kapoor has given up veggies and taken up chicken…
Industry insiders claim that her love for Shahid Kapur is so strong that she has gone one step further and given up sexual abstinence as well. With Saif Ali Khan.

Gujjars call off their agitation after Rajasthan Govt. agrees to free the members of the community who are in jails.
Apparently the only place Gujjars have adequate reservations is in the jails: around 80%.

Chances of developing a brain tumour doubles for those who are hooked to their mobile phones for more than ten years.
The Indian Council of Medical Research said that the only significant chance of being alive after living in urban India for ten years was if you were a politician.

Terming higher education as a “sick child”, HRD Minister Arjun Singh on Wednesday lamented it was not serving the cause of young people and asked the Vice Chancellors to work on a road map for providing quality and inclusive education.
In a MODE opinion poll, 80% of youths surveyed said that the most alarming example of India’s deteriorating education system was that Arjun Singh was Minister in charge of it.

“Today, not more than nine to ten per cent graduates are employable,” Arjun Singh said.
He forgot to mention that the remaining 90 % belonged to the Congress Party.

Jaya (Bachchan) aunty is like my mother : actress Rani Mukherjee
Actually, the actress was saying “Jaya Auntie, teri ma ki..” when a cough interrupted her voice.

400 is just a number…. : Sachin Tendulkar
…and the number of times, statisticians say, Indian batsmen have collapsed under pace.
Sachin was overheard breathing aside to wife Anjali: ” …yeah, but 1000 is serious money!”

Sreesanth taunted Symonds near dressing room, says Oz media.
He was actually trying to speak in English, simbly to wish them ‘best of luck’ but it sounded like a more typical Aussie four letter word.

“I have to help and guide the young spinners in the team,” Harbhajan Singh says.
Batsmen from over the world endorsed his statement, saying he had helped them better their averages all through his career.

Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi said he believes in the ideals of Mahatma Gandhi.
Modi clarified that six feet under, in the graveyards of Gujarat, there is absolute communal harmony.

RCom Brings $100 Laptop to India.
Rumor has it that a leading Bangalore-based computer company has already sounded out the parents of the children receiving the laptops to sell it to them for Rs. 100.

Nokia’s First Design Studio will be opened in Bangalore, India.
AP reports that leading Islamic terror organizations have identified it as the best Asian center for training in explosives.

Reliance RCom has unveiled a Rs 999 color phone.
The only color you can see is the color of money. All 34 billion of it.

7 responses to “BAKWAS KHABAR 13.10.07.

  1. the color of money shins the brightest huh ….good ones man! Keep rocking!

    N

  2. I wonder if I told that I like this idea of yours? Well if I didn’t, I’m telling you now. 🙂 Some jokes make me wince..but yeah there are more of them that make me laugh.
    Good going doc.

    Nita,
    It happens to the best of humorists that some or many of their jokes fall flat. Toh main kis mooli ka paratha hoon!
    I mean main kis kheth ki mooli hoon!
    I usually don’t cover Indian news, and this was one way of conveying to the world what I feel about Indian news without having to research and go deep into them!
    🙂

  3. I like the one about the doctor “stopping them cold”.

    Witty! I admire how well-read you are, as well as how current your news is. By the time I’ve read and understood one issue, ten bridges have collapsed around the world and Brittany S. has made a come back.

    Christine,
    This is one issue where I don’t translate the Indian contexts. I am surprised you can understand anything at all.
    Thanks for visiting, and for the comment!

  4. wow
    outstanding this time 🙂

    Thanks, Prax! Glad you like it.

  5. I loved all of them. I enjoyed them thoroughly- I am in a patriotic mood today, after reading Ian Chappel’s comments on Sree santh and Symonds warning to Indians.
    Medically is there any cure for the sick minds of people like Arjun Singh? Quick research required, he is too old to survive for long.

  6. Just too good! Fantastic, doc!

    One strives to please the kind Sir…. and the Ma’am, too!
    🙂

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