Shah Rukh Khan has said he will never watch a cricket match ever and that he does not need them to promote his movies.
We know, we know! He hates money like we hate six-pack-abs in elderly-looking men. Television watchers, their Shanti lost since the time he appeared in those Reliance ads, have sent millions of SMS texts approving his action. People who were planning to watch the upcoming Indian Cricket League (ICL) are having nightmares, expecting SRK to come for those games instead.
Recently, a poll showed that SRK was the richest ugly actor in the world. He narrowly beat himself to second place.

Ashok Todi (of the Rizwanur murder case) took a lie detector test in New Delhi Friday.
The test was abandoned, because whenever Todi used the words ‘innocent’, ‘Police Commissioner’ and ‘bribe’, the machine went out of order. Engineers are calling it the ‘Clinton-Laloo Effect’.

The Ansals of the Uphaar fire tragedy were left scot free in a judgment in a Sessions Court in Delhi. The relatives of the 56 dead want a greater punishment for the Ansals.
The lawyers of the relatives have advised them to allege that the Ansals have killed some glorified deer like cinkaras. Apparently that could get them in prison for life. What’s 56 dead against a deer?

Taslima Nasrin has taken refuge in Delhi.
Publishers are lining up outside her door to sign her up for her next book telling all on which celebrities she slept with there.
The Home Ministry has asked for former cop, KPS Gill, to take charge of giving her protection. Taslima is supposed to have reacted: “But who will protect me from the protector?” Pinched at her reaction, the Home Minister has promised to get to the bottom of it.

Raj Kumar Santoshi has said he is open to casting for his new movie.
And he is not even particular about the couch, insiders say!

Three cities in Uttar Pradesh suffered bomb blasts on Friday.
Mamata Banerjee has called a Bengal Bandh to protest that the CPI(M) Government in Bengal could not do anything to prevent it.
In the meanwhile, a young Kolkata doctor has proposed marriage to Mamata. He says it is his equivalent of self-immolation in the Nation’s cause, as a little ‘public servicing’ (sic) would do good to both Mamata and India.

Om Shanti Om has hit the top 10 in the UK.
In an unrelated development, a poll has declared that people with the worst taste in movies live in the UK.

‘Goal’, starring Bipasha Basu is releasing in theaters today.
Bipasha is said to be on the ball, dribbling for her hero. Christiano Ronaldo.

Union Information and Broadcasting Minister Priyaranjan Das Munshi says there is a need for low cost theaters in India.
As one working in the most expensive one (Lok Sabha, where Rs. 26,000 is burnt every second), he is surely qualified to comment. Film actors, including Shahid Kapur, have reacted strongly to the idea, saying they want low cost sex instead. Rakhi Sawant was not available for comment.

CPM MPs thump their desks when Home Minister Shivraj Patil defends the State Government re Nandigram.
A wag said: “If they can bang an entire country, what is so big about desks?”

9 responses to “BAKWAAS KHABAR 24.11.07.

  1. good humor especially liked the shahid and dmunshi joke

  2. Thanks for the comment, Prax!

  3. Funny as always.
    Ansals have to spend 2 years in jail. They are out on bail. By this logic don’t you think the railway minister should be behind bars for all those railway accidents ? I can understand the pain of the relatives of the people who lost their loved ones in the tragedy but other incidents like the one in the exhibition in Meerut( I lost a relative in that fire) last year and another one in a Haryana school function a few years ago are being ignored by the media.

  4. Om Shanti Om has hit the top 10 in the UK.

    In an unrelated development, a poll has declared that people with the worst taste in movies live in the UK.

    Indeed. 😉

  5. absolute bakwaas indeed! LOL @ your retort on the lie detector thing 😀

    I think the more civilized people become, the more crazier they actually get.. reverse evolution of the mind, me thinks..

  6. Lol! This was a fun read… specially the first one about SRK… Lol! 😀

  7. Your dig at Mamata & the Ansals were really good . I certainly appreciate your sense of humor .

  8. Thanks, guys!
    Nova, welcome!

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