HASTY LA VISTA, BABY!

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This morning, he started his day as usual, at 7 AM. He recorded his alibi at the Hospital OR, Surgeon’s Lounge.

As the weather in Kolkata has just begun to be less of a fly-paradise, he opened the window to let in some fresh air. Actually, in the changing room, when the window is open, one can see a women’s hostel with windows that host sundry ardent Surgeon-fans. I hope they are not looking in today, he thought, remembering that he had forgotten to wear his undies in his rush to be punctual and superior, poking the window open to check that his immodesty was visually inviolate. He knew now how women feel when they are scanned by hard-up male Romeos.

Right index finger pressed firmly on a large window to open it. Crash! It was as though he had just taken a slug of the Magic Potion that the Romans of Asterixine lore always wanted from the Gauls. The pane fragmented, and his index finger acquired some glass splinters the way a single girl’s name caught rumor. What a start to a day!

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This early, there were no other surgeons. He decided to operate on himself. He poked around the tiny wound in the right index finger with a pair of forceps in his left hand, and found a long, thin, invisible shard of glass impaled horizontally under the skin. He nicked the skin a bit with a scalpel blade (no local anesthesia), and tried to get the splinter out, when suddenly he could feel it no more.
Gone, and great surgery done, dude! he congratulated himself. Through the day, your favorite surgeon braved agonising, lancinating pain that traveled from the right index finger to the sacral spine, skirting the root of the left testicle, and shot up at the speed of light to his left brain.

In spite of this, he battled on, glassy-eyed, and finished off his list.
End of the day, his finger is swollen up, just like an injured finger swells up at the end of the day.
And you know what?
He can feel that splinter again!
So, he needs to undergo surgery soonest, and undertake other surgeries as well.

He learnt the following lessons:

1. Morning flights for the next two weeks would not be delayed on account of fog.

2. The Vista from Windows is one big pane.
(Vista link: click recommended.)

3. There are some bad days when you can’t put a finger on what goes wrong.

6 responses to “HASTY LA VISTA, BABY!

  1. AAAAAHHHH! You and your puns!

  2. nice writeup
    made me smile on a very dull day

    vista is indeed crapppppppp

  3. Doc: I commend you for your bravery. There is no possible way I would purposely put my finger near a sharp object, let alone with the intention of making contact.

  4. Marc:
    Ah, it seems you found pane on running into this post.

    Prax:
    Similar words for vista as an abstract noun are: view, prospect, panorama, aspect, perspective, spectacle, sight, outlook; scenery, landscape.

    Don Cheese:
    I know, there are people who are scared of pricks! It seems they can lead to uncomfortably sticky situations.

  5. As the rude Sanskrit professor from Nalanda university once said – This OS is complete Vrishabhavista 🙂

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