HISSTERIA AND A VISIT TO THE DENTIST

From Nature Blogs:

A zoo in Ohio has forked out $35,000 for what is believed to be the longest snake in captivity anywhere in the world. Columbus Zoo and Aquarium says it doesn’t buy animals very often – preferring to get them through exchanges or donations – but it decided the huge python was worth it due to its ability to draw in visitors.

fluffyclzoo.jpg
(Pic credit: from Nature Blogs)

So, ladies and gents, we finally know how much a snake is really worth: $5000 a meter, this specimen being 24 feet (7.3 meters) long! The snake, called Fluffy (for some reason), eats “two 4.5 kilo rabbits a week”.

The snake story does not end here:

However Fluffy was nearly lost to the zoo and Ohio residents may have Samuel L. Jackson to thank for it staying. The beast was originally due to go back to its breeder Bob Clark in November, says the Columbus Dispatch. However the cargo company that was due to carry the 140 kg snake went out of business and finding an alternative giant-snake courier proved difficult.

The delay allowed time for the mega-bucks deal for Fluffy to be struck. “A lot of companies hesitate to transport snakes, especially since the movie Snakes on a Plane,” Pete Fingerhut, the zoo’s associate director, told the paper.

Now, how could I pass up a chance to twist some related words in adderly serpentine fashion? Especially since I just came back from my dentist and the cottonmouth effect of the local anesthetic is still obvious,except where she dug up kraiters in my teeth. I thought I needed a viper for the venom drooling from my mouth. Do you remamba the last time you went to a dentist? Can you recall the boaring pain and the constrictor effect on the heart as fear grips you, and pain shoots up like a sidewinder missile?

I never cover my assp, in a manner of speaking, and I take full responsibility for my dental health. No more taipanyaki chicken for me, especially as bird flu is nearby. Cull ho ya na ho!

16 responses to “HISSTERIA AND A VISIT TO THE DENTIST

  1. Fun word play. I’m just getting started on WordPress. Check me out when you get a chance. 😀

  2. Vivek Khadpekar

    Doc,

    Sorry to be a nitpicker, but there’s some typos in your last paragraph. Or maybe one one of them has a silent ‘p’ (in a manner of NOT speaking). But that does not exonerate you from the first ‘d’ which should be an ‘m’. And given the context, I think you’ve misspelt the italicised French word there with a redundant ‘l’ 🙂 !

  3. Vivek:
    My French does not extend beyond kissing, wines, and food.
    Redridinghood: where’s your url? You need to leave it!

  4. Vivek Khadpekar

    Ah! So now we have a mediCO BRAgging about his savoir-faire!

  5. Ugh, totally reminds me of the days when I had to go to the dentist for my braces. Normally people get their teeth in the right place in a year or two at the max. Mine took 3 because I’d always refuse to go the doctor. They should really do something about the ambiance at that place, whenever you sit in that scary chair, it feels like you’ll get an electric shock and that’s the end. Scareh. 😐

  6. Mmm, looks like the cottonmouth, did not do much harm to your rattling:-). You are far from coiled up

    About the “..worth it due to its ability to draw in visitors”, nah. In my 4 visits to the city and the zoo in 07 (not much to the city sans the malls and restaurants), the snake was coiled up looking statuesque. The only interesting thing around that exhibit was people trying hard to guess if it was real or fake. The overlit, small concrete-glass only structure devoid of natural elements did good to feed to the ensuing confusion.

  7. Vivek: Touche´!

    Ish: Ish!

    Athreya: Thanks. Long back, I was fascinated by the Snake Park in Guindy, Madras. I saw snakes in the open, on trees close to the visitor. I hate to see snakes bottled up and confined in glass boxes.

  8. As a certified ophidioophobic, I hate to see snakes – bottled up or otherwise. I am almost hissteric now having seen that picture you posted.

  9. OMG! THERE ARE SNAKES ON THIS MF BLOG! 🙂

  10. This is Hisssterical!

  11. Jackie:

    Better on this MF blog than in the grass! 🙂 !

  12. Thanks, Maami and Usha.
    Vivek, Jackie:
    Such incestuous, reptilian thoughts give me the shivers!
    Incidentally, a snake in the grass is better than an asp in the ass.

  13. Vivek Khadpekar

    Doc,

    My only association of the asp is with Cleopatra’s suicide, and the part of her anatomy involved was certainly more comely than the one where you have chosen to posit your particular specimen of *Cerastes cornutus* 🙂 !

  14. Vivek Khadpekar

    On second thoughts, I partly modifiy my comment. *In gluteo maximo Cleopatrae* probably would qualify as comely. 🙂 !

  15. Vivek Khadpekar

    On third thoughts, I recant. The prepositional qualifier in your colloquial usage for the location of the reptilian in question suggests *in recto* rather than *in gluteo*.

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