WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS 01-26-08

TOP QUOTES OF THE WEEK

Are you folks worried about the economy? Stock market crumbling. Everybody’s crazy about this. Don’t worry. George W. Bush says he’s got something in mind to give it a shot in the arm. And if that doesn’t work, Cheney is going to give it a shot in the face. (David Letterman)

Once again there’s talk of printing political ads on toilet paper, but it won’t work because most Republicans can’t read and most Democrats don’t use toilet paper. (Scott Witt)

Osama bin Laden’s son announced today that he wants to be a peace activist. Talk about rebelling against your parents! (Craig Ferguson)

New research shows that flu germs can be transmitted via paper money. Fortunately for everybody, we have an administration that is doing anything they can to fight the flu by spreading poverty. (Pedro Bartes)

In response to a plummeting stock market, record unemployment and home mortgage foreclosures, spiraling gas prices and a sinking dollar, Bush predicts things will be “just fine” if Congress approves his $150 billion “stimulus package” which will provide taxpayer relief and a tax incentives for business investment. Pardon me, but isn’t this a little like the captain of the Titanic offering the passengers free swimming lessons? (Bob Mills)

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Logan and Britney Spears have been going out together every night to party. Actually it’s even worse than it sounds because Lindsay Lohan is their designated driver. (Conan O’Brien)

Oprah Winfrey is getting her own television network. It will be called OWN. The name comes from Oprah’s goal to own the entire country by 2012. (Jim Barach)

A right wing Christian evangelical group claims that Heath Ledger is now burning in hell for eternity for playing a homosexual in ‘Broke Back Mountain’ and is threatening to picket the Oscars to dramatize their moral disgust over film industry praise for the young actor. The pulpit pounders have also condemned Susanne Pleshette for playing Bob Newhart’s wife while everyone knew he was already married. (Bob Mills)

Florida is the big one for the Republicans. In fact, Florida is the first state where Rudy Giuliani is seriously campaigning. See, for Giuliani, primaries are kind of like marriages. The first two or three don’t really count. (Jay Leno)

A study in England says that children universally dislike clowns. However, millions of Americans usually vote for one every four years. (Jim Barach)

John McCain is counting on carrying big cities where political machines prevail, expecting to get the dead man vote because he feels so close to them. (Scott Witt)

Hillary and Bill Clinton’s attacks against Barack Obama are getting fiercer by the day, leading Americans to believe the best way to defeat the terrorism is to somehow convince Mrs. Clinton that al Qaeda is running against her in a primary. (Jake Novak)

During a service to honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr in Harlem, Bill Clinton was caught nodding off. He claimed later that like MLK he was also having a dream, but his involved, thongs, cigars and chubby interns. (Pedro Bartes)

Well, Fred Thompson dropped out of the presidential race. Do you think he knows yet?… It’s kind of sad. The only thing standing between Fred and the White House — the American people. (Jay Leno)

Cuba held parliamentary elections throughout the island Sunday. There was only one name on the ballot in each district and no campaigning allowed. For the forty-ninth year Fidel Castro was unanimously elected president by a vote of one to nothing. (Argus Hamilton)

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg met with Ross Perot’s former campaign manager. What’s his next move, a meeting with Ralph Nader’s wardrobe consultant? (Jim Barach)

THE PRIMARIES

Super Tuesday is coming up — 23 states, 70 million votes. That is almost as much as ‘American Idol,’ do you realize that? (Jay Leno)

The wildly diverse Republican primary results in January are hard to believe. Three different winners in five different primaries – and that’s not even counting the three different candidates Mitt Romney has been. (Janice Hough)

Congratulations to John McCain. He won the South Carolina Republican primary. You know, McCain is described as a GOP maverick. He’s a Republican maverick. Do you know what that means? Say that to Mark Foley and Larry Craig, that just means he’s a straight guy. See, there aren’t a lot of those left. (Jay Leno)

With his win in the South Carolina primary, John McCain is now the frontrunner for the GOP nomination. But the 71-year-old McCain faces a huge challenge in the upcoming Florida primary where most voters still consider him too young to be president. (Jake Novak)

Congratulations to Mitt Romney. He was the big winner in the Michigan primary. John McCain came in second. An embarrassing moment for McCain when he spoke at a polling place that was also a funeral parlor. I don’t want to say McCain looks old, but when he tried to leave the funeral home, he had to show ID. (Jay Leno)

Even though he placed second, Barack Obama characterized the results of the Nevada caucuses as a victory because he won one more delegate than Hillary Clinton. Obama is looking more and more like a Republican. One day he’s praising Ronald Reagan, the next he’s winning caucuses with a lesser amount of votes. (Patrick Gorse)

Mitt Romney was in Jacksonville, Florida, and they had the big King Day parade there. … You have to hand it to him. Even though he didn’t fit in at all, he made himself right at home there. Take a look [on screen: Romney asking a group of black children “Who let the dogs out, whoo whoo!”]. Did you hear that question he asked? In fairness, that was his first time ever meeting black people. (Jimmy Kimmel)

THE CANDIDATES

One year from today, we will swear in a new president of the United States. How about that? And, as Hillary Clinton likes to say, “Whoever she may be.” (Jay Leno)

Chuck Norris said Sunday John McCain is so old his vice president will probably finish his first term. It’s awful. The next day John McCain was deluged by calls from fellow senators offering to endorse him in exchange for the vice presidential nod. (Argus Hamilton)

The most memorable line in Thursday night’s Republican debate came from Mitt Romney when he said he doesn’t look forward to Bill Clinton running around the White House with nothing to do. Hillary told friends it was the only thing in the debate she agreed with. (Scott Witt)

We reported here recently about a drive to make Barack’s birthday, Oct. 4th, a federal holiday. He did us one better on the Letterman show, when he said one of his first acts as president will be to rename the 10th month Baracktober. Traditionalists think that would be an obamanation. But it’ll be his call, because if he’s elected it will indeed be an Obama-nation. (Scott Witt)

What happened yesterday between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? What was that, high school? Did you see that debate? Remember earlier yesterday, on Martin Luther King Day, they were talking about peace, Dr. King, bringing together, putting aside our differences. That didn’t last long, huh? Then the debate turned into, “You’re a doodyhead. No, you’re a doodyhead.” (Jay Leno)

Presidential candidate Denis Kucinich dropped from the presidential race Thursday. According to his campaign staff, he was frustrated as his message was not resonating in the media because it seems the media do not care about the little people. (Pedro Bartes)

There’s still no front-runner for the Republicans. Republicans are starting to look like Britney Spears getting out of the limo: wide open. (Jay Leno)

GOP presidential candidate and evangelical guru Mike Huckabee is out of money and won’t run TV ads in Florida. Perhaps a little less attention to intelligent design and a tad more attention to intelligent fund raising might be in order. (Bob Mills)

Mitt Romney announced today when he becomes president he will appoint Mike Huckabee Secretary of Religious Affairs. After all, someone has to keep track of them. In other news, failed candidate Fred Thompson is expected to audition for the role of president in the new dramatic series “Eight Wing.” (Alan Corwin)

Rudy Giuliani vowed Sunday in Florida to defend America from those who hate us, but he’s fallen in the polls. His old message is no longer working. Now that we’re paying a hundred dollars a barrel they still hate us, but they’re in no rush to kill us. (Argus Hamilton)

Former Tennessee senator Fred Thompson announced that he would return to acting, joining “E.R.” in the role of a coma patient. (Andy Borowitz)

After that fight the other night between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton at the Democratic debates — did you watch that? Well, John Edwards said he is proud to represent the grownup wing of the Democratic party. The grownup wing of the Democratic Party? No wonder he’s in third place. Talk about a distant minority. (Jay Leno)

Barack Obama spoke at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta Sunday. The Democrat may become the first black president. The only way Republicans will have a black president is if Dick Cheney takes the oath of office wearing his Darth Vader costume. (Argus Hamilton)

Giuliani has been concentrating his efforts on Florida where he hopes that former New Yorkers who have moved there will help him win. No word yet on how he plans to keep them alive long enough to vote. (Bob Mills)

In South Carolina, former ‘Law & Order’ star Fred Thompson has dropped out of the presidential race. He also came in a distant third. Came in third! Which would be great if he was still on NBC. He’d be a hero. Hey, we’ll take third place. (Jay Leno)

It looks like Rudy Giuliani having a rough time in Florida. Man, I tell you, his early lead evaporated quicker than those wedding vows. (Jay Leno)

As if this field isn’t crowded enough, Ralph Nader says he will decide in a month whether he’ll run for president again. Ralph Nader. Hey, he’s ready to go. Luckily, his suit is still unpressed from the last time (Jay Leno)

John McCain stopped yesterday at a Miami assisted-living community. He thinks it’s important to go after the youth vote. (Alan Ray)

Here’s one of those philosophical questions. If Fred Thompson stopped campaigning, how could you tell? (Jay Leno)

Anybody see the presidential debate last night on CNN? Whoa! It was great. It was exciting. Sparks were flying. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama kept arguing, going at one another like this. Honest to God, John Edwards looked like the moderator on ‘Family Feud.’ (David Letterman)

PRESIDENT BUSH

A new study says President George W. Bush and his top officials ran roughshod over the truth in the run-up to the Iraq war, lying a total of 935 times. The president said he’s working hard so in the next 20 minutes he can reach the 1,000 lies and throw a party. (Pedro Bartes)

In Israel last week, Bush says U. S. should have bombed Auschwitz; running out of things to bomb during his last months in office, Bush is using his lame-duck year to recount missed bombing opportunities from previous administrations. (DUH Magazine)

To celebrate the slain civil rights leader’s birthday, Bush visited the Martin Luther King Memorial Library in Memphis. Addressing a crowd of supporters on the museum steps, Goofy told them that he’s always considered King “the finest host in the history of CNN or any other TV distributor.” (Bob Mills)

The White House is missing millions of e-mails sent in 2003 during the lead up to the war in Iraq. Apparently they deleted them after Saddam Hussein got the address and started targeting the White House with spam. (Jim Barach)

THE ADMINISTRATION

The White House declined to clarify Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s comments that the planned economic stimulus package should reach a large number of people. A clarification is needed because the administration doesn’t give money to “people” — it gives money to big companies, to other countries, and to wealthy Republicans — but not to people. (Joe Hickman)

The Postal Service may give in to complaints about the 17-cent surcharge for square envelopes, imposed because its machines can’t find the address. Opponents of the fee point out that square envelopes help the post office do what it does best — delay the mail. (Scott Witt)

THE CONGRESS

Congress is going ahead with their investigation into the use of steroids in Major League Baseball; but let’s be candid, congress investigating cheating in baseball is like Madonna investigating Jessica Simpson for bad acting. (Alex Kaseberg)

THE DEMOCRATS

A Nevada brothel is encouraging its customers to give their tips to the Ron Paul campaign. How did this endorsement deal slip by Bill Clinton? He must be getting old. (Jay Leno)

During a service to honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in Harlem, Bill Clinton was caught nodding off. He later claimed that like MLK, he was having a dream, only his involved thongs. (Pedro Bartes)

U.S. News and World Report said Hillary Clinton, if elected, won’t ask her husband to handle social duties. They’ll have a social office. It’ll be staffed by Arkansas state troopers since they have the most experience managing Bill Clinton’s social life. (Argus Hamilton)

THE REPUBLICANS

A mailer from Texas Republican congressional candidate Dean Hrbacek used a photo of his head attached to an image of a different body that makes him look thinner. To complete the deception, Hrbacek’s head has only one face. (Joe Hickman)

Duncan Hunter, longtime Congressman and Reagan-era hack who seriously proposed turning Catalina Island into a government-owned shooting gallery stocked with game so disabled military veterans could hunt them, has withdrawn from the presidential race. Sad. Now all those disabled vets will have to settle for occasional hunting trips with Dick Cheney. (Bob Mills)

THE STATES

Arnold Schwarzenegger warned of a huge budget deficit Friday. He may order ten percent spending cuts. He doesn’t want to go to Washington to ask for help because he’s afraid if he goes to Capitol Hill he’ll be dragged into a steroid hearing. (Argus Hamilton)

Texans can now carry handguns in their cars without a permit. Wow. Texans drink a lot, always drive fast and talk on their cellphones. And now they’re legally armed. Anybody who can drive across Texas and live will get a spot on the next “Amazing Race.” Sounds like either the Texas Legislature is retarded — or Republican. (Joe Hickman)

LOCAL NEWS

They’re building a New Yankees stadium here. And the progress is really fast. There’s a good reason for it: The workers are taking the same stuff the players are. (David Letterman)

CRIME & PUNISHMENT

It costs about $14,000 to treat the average gunshot victim at a big city hospital. That’s what’s wrong with our health care system. Give a mugger half that and he won’t even shoot you. (Joe Hickman)

TERRORISM

Osama bin Laden’s son Omar bin Laden said in Cairo Monday that he’s calling upon his father to change his ways and renounce terrorism. The son is a building contractor. Of all the reasons ever given for Osama bin Laden to blow up buildings all over the world, no one ever considered that it might be to throw his son a little business. (Argus Hamilton)

The Taliban says it will attack restaurants in Kabul in order to target Americans in Afghanistan. Even the terrorists know if you want to find Americans, look in the restaurants first. (Jim Barach)

SECURITY

Former Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge says waterboarding is torture. The CIA disputed his finding, saying to give them five minutes with Ridge and he’ll change his mind. (Jim Barach)

THE ECONOMY & TAXES

President Bush is pushing a $150 Billion economic plan to help kick start the economy. Critics are asking how the government will pay for it. Apparently Bush says he has already taken out a second subprime mortgage on the White House. (Jim Barach)

The New York Stock Exchange was a bloodbath last week as investors lost billions. It was a massive sell-off. Investors should have seen this coming the moment Jessica Simpson rang the opening bell wearing Charles Schwab’s football jersey. (Argus Hamilton)

Have you heard this report that Iran and Syria have been printing counterfeit $100 bills in order to ruin the U.S. economy? Hey, you’re about four years too late, okay? You know, if the Iranians really want to ruin our economy, make TVs and cars. That’s what the Japanese did. (Jay Leno)

IMMIGRATION

The federal government says it is expecting to deport 200,000 immigrants this year. That’s not even counting the ones who are leaving because the Peso is becoming stronger than the Dollar. (Jim Barach)

SPACE & NASA

British newspapers showed their readers a NASA image from Mars Wednesday, and pointed out a detail that looks like the silhouette of a walking humanoid. The image is not clear but there’s evidence this creature was complaining for the non inclusion of Kucinich in the NBC presidential debate. (Pedro Bartes)

IRAN & IRAQ

Iran called its recent encounter with American warships an “accident,” blaming the entire episode on Mapquest. (Andy Borowitz)

ISRAEL & THE MIDDLE EAST

In Saudi Arabia last week, President Bush was criticized for doing a little ceremonial dance with a sword given to him by the Saudi prince. A lot of people thought the president was pandering to the Saudis. To be fair, I don’t think the president was pandering. See, I think President Bush is truly fascinated by bright, shiny objects. (Jay Leno)

CHINA & THE FAR EAST

Horse racing with legal gambling will return to China in September for the first time since the government banned it in 1949. China figures you’re taking a gamble with every breath, every bite of food and every phony med you take, might as well add racehorses to the list. (Patrick Gorse)

North Korea has met the legal criteria to be removed from the U.S. terrorism list. Apparently, there were no signs of oil there. (Pedro Bartes)

HEALTH

A report says cold medicines are too risky for small children. Parents, if your kid gets a cold, do something to take their mind off it. Maybe you can organize a “Kid With The Runniest Nose In The Neighborhood Contest,” (Toms Lake Humor Company)

Nutrition specialist Dr. Timothy Harlan, also known as Dr. Gourmet, is trying to come up with a food that has negative calories, as in it burns up more calories than it contains. My suggestion would be a beef jerky burrito. The calories you don’t burn chewing, you will burn running back and forth to the bathroom. (Patrick Gorse)

A study conducted by the New York Times found that many upscale sushi restaurants in Manhattan regularly serve raw tuna tainted with mercury. Investigators first became suspicious when they noticed several sushi chefs taking each others’ temperature with a California roll. (Bob Mills)

THE WEATHER & THE ENVIRONMENT

We had 80 mph winds today! Coming in this morning, I saw a Mini Cooper circling the airport. (Jay Leno)

The Weather Channel said the cold winter in the Midwest and South is likely to continue due to a northern jet stream. The meteorologists say El Nino is long gone. Apparently he went back home when the slump hit the housing and construction industry. (Argus Hamilton)

SPORTS

The New England Patriots play the New York Giants in the Super Bowl a week from Sunday.. Most of the nation doesn’t care which team wins. At this point people are just glad they are going to play the game and not debate a dozen times beforehand. (Argus Hamilton)

The Super Bowl is a football fanatic’s dream. A football fanatic is a fan who cares more about how the ball bounces than how the cheerleader’s do. (Joe Hickman)

Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps secured his title as the World’s Fastest Swimmer Saturday by winning twice in Long Beach. He’s a world hero. To the people of Cuba their president may be Fidel Castro, but their man with the plan is Michael Phelps. (Argus Hamilton)

Of all people, NFL Network analyst Deion “Powderpuff” Sanders criticized LaDainian Tomlinson’s toughness for not playing in the AFC Championship. That’s like Britney Spears making fun of Sir Paul McCartney’s fake British accent. (Alex Kaseberg)

John Daly withdrew from the Bob Hope Classic Saturday citing a rib injury but he was fine the night before when he went out drinking. He has admitted he’s got a few issues. John Daly’s got more than a few issues, he’s got an entire year’s subscription. (Argus Hamilton)

Iditarod officials say global warming will drastically effect this year’s dog races. In fact, it is so much warmer in Alaska, the early favorite is a team of Mexican Chihuahuas. (comedy writer Alex Kaseberg)

Commissioner Bud Selig got a lucrative contract extension Friday from baseball owners. What a swell bunch of guys. The New York Mets wanted to name their ballpark Jackie Robinson Stadium but his widow could only come up with two million dollars a year. (Argus Hamilton)

The Dodgers and Padres will play exhibition baseball in China in March. It’s to be a cultural learning experience for the crowd. Fans will be given free programs to identify specific steroids. (Alan Ray)

UCLA infuriated their basketball fans Saturday by banning anybody from getting John Wooden’s autograph at courtside. He simply can’t shake the hand of every fan who wants to meet him. At ninety-eight he can’t afford to catch everybody’s head cold. (Argus Hamilton)

NFL Network analyst Deion “Powderpuff” Sanders criticized LaDainian Tomlinson’s toughness for not playing in the AFC Championship. That’s like Britney Spears making fun of Sir Paul McCartney’s fake British accent. To put a finer point on it, not only could Deion have played in a dress, he could have bought that dress from Nordstroms and returned it after the game without any questions asked. (Alex Kaseberg)

ENTERTAINMENT

“American Idol” is coming back. “American Idol” features a group of self-deluded pretenders and publicity seekers… it’s just like the presidential race. (David Letterman)

“American Idol” premiered last night. Apparently, it was the lowest rated premier in four years. Only 85 billion people watched last night. (Jimmy Kimmel)

Today was a big day in Hollywood. The Academy Awards were announced. It looks a lot of Oscar buzz for ‘No Country For Old Men,’ which I think was also John McCain’s campaign slogan. (Jay Leno)

William Shatner won’t be appearing in the new “Star Trek” movie. However, one of the Tribbles will be played by his hairpiece. (Patrick Gorse)

Another big Oscar nod for ‘There Will Be Blood,’ the story of a ruthless oil tycoon. Or, as Dick Cheney calls it, “the greatest movie of all time.” (Jay Leno)

Another “Rambo” movie is out in theaters this weekend. Sylvester Stallone leading a private security force into combat is a bit far-fetched. Not once do they overcharge the government. (Alan Ray)

I like the bad singers better than the good ones. Especially the crazy ones. I was thinking I would like to see a whole show with nothing but crazy people being insulted by judges. And then I remembered that’s already a show, called “Judge Judy.” (Jimmy Kimmel)

CELEBRITIES

Oprah Winfrey got her own cable network Monday to add to Oprah’s talk show and Oprah’s magazine, Oprah’s book club, Oprah’s girls school and Oprah’s presidential candidate. She’s almost there. She just signed a deal with eye surgeons to have her image put on the back of everyone’s eyelids so that we even see Oprah in our sleep. (Argus Hamilton)

We have just learned that last week Nicole Ritchie almost lost her new baby daughter. While the baby was in the nursery, Angelina Jolie and Madonna both tried to adopt her. (Tim Hunter)

Tom Brady takes Giselle Bundchen out to a club in New York, sitting right near them was her ex-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio, but DiCaprio did not speak to Giselle. Well, duh. DiCaprio isn’t stupid. Brady is 6ft four, 225 lbs. He could snap Leonardo like a bread stick. To give you an inkling as to how terrified Leonardo DiCaprio was of Tom Brady, let’s just say the Titanic wasn’t the only thing that sprung a leak. (Alex Kaseberg)

Britney Spears is now dating a tabloid photographer. This is the biggest turnaround in the world of dating since Captain Kirk dated a Klingon princess. (Toms Lake Humor Company)

Jessica Simpson has been dumped by Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. It was a little embarrassing when they asked Jessica if there was a chance of reconciliation, Jessica said; “Sorry, no speakie lay French.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Eddie Murphy’s marriage is over. It lasted only two weeks. Two weeks! Here’s what I heard: They started to drift apart during the ceremony. (David Letterman)

It’s a great day for the president’s daughter, Jenna Bush. She set a date for her wedding. She’s excited about her marriage, especially about the part where she gets to change her name. (Craig Ferguson)

Kiefer Sutherland finished his two-month jail sentence for drunk driving this week. He was born under a lucky star. During the writer’s strike he’s been the only actor in Hollywood who didn’t have to worry about where his next meal is coming from. (Argus Hamilton)

Told that he would have to cut two minutes from his song, Ringo Starr walked off the set of ‘Live With Regis & Kelly.’ Producers blamed a breakdown in communications. Ringo speaks fluent Liverpoolian while Regis and Kelly speak a dialect of daytime talk show gibberish. (Bob Mills)

Not such a great day for O. J. Simpson. A judge told him, “You must arrogant, ignorant, or both.” O. J. said, “I am none of these things. I am just a murderer.” (Craig Ferguson)

Lindsay Lohan has had a slight skirt malfunction and paparazzies took pictures of her backside in provocative underwear. Apparently, wearing underwear is part of her 12-steps recovery program. (Pedro Bartes)

Lindsay Lohan was ordered to work in a morgue Friday as part of her community service sentence. This is insane. Within the year the makers of formaldehyde will be paying Lindsay Lohan millions of dollars to endorse their product as a party drug. (Argus Hamilton)

Famed designer Valentino has announced that he’s hanging up his tape measure and boxing his chalk after forty-five years at the fashion forefront. A truly remarkable career that represents 9.7 tons of fabric, 2650 spools of thread, 154,000 buttons, and about 38 pounds of runway models. (Bob Mills)

David Spade is having a baby with a Playboy playmate. Miss March. In a few months, she’ll be sporting a tiny, whiny, crying thing around… then the baby will be born, and she’ll move on. (Craig Ferguson)

Poor Ryan Seacrest. they’re saying he’s going to have to get his tips frosted at Super Cuts now. (Jimmy Kimmel)

RELIGION

Thousands march in Washington to protest Roe v. Wade decision. Marchers under the age of 35 were advised to send a thank-you note to their mothers. (DUH! Magazine)

Two brothers in Wales are building a Jedi Church for fanatics of the “Star Wars” movie franchise. What are they going to call it? The Moron Tabernacle? Geek Orthodox? (Patrick Gorse)

CULTURE

The Milton Bradley Co. has launched a contest to name 68 cities for its new “Monopoly Here & Now: The World Edition” which goes on sale February 28 in 45 countries. The new “Get Out of Jail Free Card” will be named for either Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or Keifer Sutherland. (Bob Mills)

Spider-Man’s marriage has fallen apart after more than 20 years in the latest Marvel Comic. Apparently he ignored his wife and spent too much time on the web. (Jim Barach)

BUSINESS & LABOR

Now that the government has approved genetically-engineered animal and dairy products, Ben and Jerry are planning their first ice cream clone. (Scott Witt)

Sprint Nextel will cut 4,000 jobs. Stunned employees don’t really know the reason. Their cell phones were all out of range. (Alan Ray)

OTHER

California’s John Wayne Airport will set up temporary, portable voting booths during the presidential primary to accommodate travelers unable to vote at home. The booths are roomy, comfortable and completely “Larry-Craig-proofed.” (Bob Mills)

4 responses to “WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS 01-26-08

  1. George Bush and Britney Spears seem to be your favourite in the weekly humour Rambodoc.

  2. Wonderful compilation! If this is your work, I raise my glass in a toast!

  3. Narendra,
    Welcome! This is about the only thing in this blog that is not mine. It is compiled by Stan Kegel, and is acknowledged in The Humerus News page.
    The Bakwaas Khabar posts are mine.

  4. Pingback: WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS 01-26-08

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