The title of this post could have been “What I have been up to to have stopped blogging for so long”. Since I wasn’t sure whether, in the title, I could put into two to’s together, I desisted.
Whew. Life has been hectic, lemme tell ya!
I have been operating a lot, including some pretty difficult cases. Some sad, like a thirty year old girl who had advanced rectal cancer. I knocked off her left colon and rectum along with her uterus. She’s not gonna live too long, though chemo would give her some years, hopefully. She glares at me so angrily (she has a temporary colostomy) that I asked her, “Do you hate me, or you just angry with me?” She burst into tears and wailed “I am so scared!” I felt like a narrow-minded rat. Peculiar, that. Rats would have narrow minds and hinds, too, wouldn’t they?
On top of work, I have changed my life quite a bit without any New Year resolutions.
*For one, I have totally quit smoking, like Shane Warne has totally quit cricket and SMS-sex. The girls who have visiting rights to my mouth say they wished they could move in permadently. If you can stomach this gummy and toothfool statement.
*I eat only one sweet a day, rather (inversely) like an IPO attracts one customer a day.
*I eat rakshashoid portions of veggies and fruits daily, rather similar to the reserves of love that one of the Thackerays has for the Biharis, Gujaratis and Madrasis of Mumbai city. See pic of subject’s breakfast, for example, weighing around two pounds.
*I do an hour-and-a-half solid gym workout six days a week. This is, I notice, the exact time the guys who kill chickens (cullers, not killers) must be spending a day doing their work. No wonder, West Bengal and its contained bloggers are protein-starved and liable to be renamed Beangalis. The punned plant product being the main source of amine nitrogen in our diet in these days of the H5N1 virus.
*I cooked a very elaborate Chinese dinner one evening, but the flavors fell flatter than my puns.
*I research a bit on what is happening to the stock markets, preparatory to investing a bit of money when the market is down. So far, I think I have invested more money than I ever knew I had earned. Which means about as much money as an Ambani’s driver makes in a month.
End of story. All of this would make it next morning already. 7am, and work starts again.
Net net (as the corporate and CNBC-types say so irritatingly): aforementioned blogdoc is lighter by 4 kilograms in two weeks, plenty of muscle fibers showing, belly flattening, preparatory to the development of the imaginary six-packs. Only my shaven head (another new development) prevents the chicks from accidentally falling on me, lips locked to mine.
I am, of course, poorer now, and very blogopenic (Greek penia=lack, poverty).
Do accept my genuine apologies for not blogging, and for not visiting. And for the ladies who are not falling for me now, I have this to say: “The weight will be worth it!” I think the Emaar-MGF (also called the Bimaar MGF) IPO-wallahs will be saying more or less the same thing, as they nurse sore backsides from the kicks of the non-paying public.
(Oh, this post is dedicated to Geetha for being so sweet!)