On the occasion of India’s famous and historic victory over Australia in the Commonwealth Series today, we interviewed some celebrities. We reproduce their comments.


Eye yam verry happy begauze we played fentastick krickett. Jay baarut madha kee?!


I am so happy… I am hungry for maaki..we showed what a roti team they have. Never a daal baal mo(ve)ment in Oz…We taught them not to twist our tails. By the way, let me introduce you to my new girlfriend, Simian….


It is all because we have changed our styles. I mean our hair styles. Look at us. We are united in our diversity: from Sehwag to Ishant Sharma….


I shouldered the responsibility of catching Dhoni when he dived at the ball deflecting off Haydenโ€™s bat. Now I am sore we are all going to have a big insider party. You can always have Reliance on us. Oil will be well! You know, at our parties, the chips are blue and triangular and taken off the same old block. Bingo!

Sharad Pawar:

On this great occasion, we will give the cricketers a grand party in Delhi. At Rashtrapati Bhavan we will give them farmer status. Therefore they can expect our banks to loan them Rs.100,000 crores at low interests which we will wave off before the next general elections. If the Finance Minister does not do this, I will commit suicide.

(Mr. Pawar, because he has had jaw surgery, sounds as if he is chewing a pound of cotton in his mouth).

P Chidambaram:

We notice the agricultural shots Dhoni keeps making. He gives the opponents a run for their money, just like I make taxpayers run for their money. As Mr. Pawar said, once the loans are waved off by our Madamโ€™s hand, the stock prices of the PSU banks like SBI will collapse. Our farmer cricketers can then buy these shares and capitalise on the returns. Of course, we will also return after the said election, if there is anything left to return to.

Bal Thackeray:

It is all bikaas of Sachin. He is a true Ma(ha)rathi, and therefore a true Indian. We will celebrate in style tumaarow. We will thrash up all the Bihari taxi wallahs in Mumbai, unless they can bat like Sachin. But donโ€™t lick this out, as the fun will be lost if they run away before this.

Prakash Karat:

We are totally against the Commonwealth. We are for common poverty. We want everyone to reflect the misery that the US nuclear deal makes us feel. As far as the cricketers are concerned, we will felicitate the left handed players like Sourav, Sourav and Sourav with plots of land in the desert, er, I mean, in Nandigram. We are also keen to encourage our cricketers to take up farming and agitculture agriculture. We will grant them 123 liters of a new insecticide we are giving all our formers farmers in Bangall, called Genocide. We give this without Mamata, but with kshamata. With Genocide, our enemies have nowhere to Hyde, you know.

15 responses to “BAKWAAS KHABAR 04.03.08.

  1. Haha, that was brilliant. And considering the kind of guy Dhoni is, he might as well actually say that one day.

  2. Howzzat khabar?

    I’m stumped for a response. No silly points, and keeping in line and length, not a single doosra meaning comment.But I felt caught mid-on by Bhajji’s maiden standing over by the pavilion end and what a yorker-knocker she was, in bodyline with our night watchman but was bowled over by Sreesanth’s slick wrist work who bowled a googly over to take home the triangular trophy all the way to Kerala.
    Siish, enuf of my bakwas!

  3. sreesanth’s comment was funny

  4. ๐Ÿ˜† Hilarious doc, I liked the ones by pawar, thackeray and chidambaram. Like the way you manage to sew various things together… keep going! have you thought up doing a standup act on TV? ๐Ÿ˜€ I think you could give some competition to cyrus, but ofcourse I don’t know how your delivery is. Perhaps you could write cyrus’ lines. of late some of his jokes have been sounding lame, but his act is very funny.

  5. I seriously feel that you should make a collection of your funny lines and send them to cyrus. he needs them! A new career for you perhaps?

  6. Ha ha ha! Thats very funny.

  7. You should interview Symonds, Hayden and Ponting in the sequel Rambodoc.
    You are right Nita. Cyrus is desperately in need of a writer and the great doctor can help us by helping him. Cyrus is running out of fresh ideas.

  8. Doc ..u are absolutely in ur element…

  9. Hey, thanks, Nita, Prerna, Geetha, Ish, Durga and Ravi.
    Maami: You can actually get good at this, y’know? ๐Ÿ™‚
    Nita: Writing lines for someone else? If I were a chronically henpecked husband who couldn’t open his mouth without his wife shoving her bathroom slipper into it, I would have jumped at the chance to express myself vicariously.
    I am, fortunately, not discouraged my expressions… ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. doc! It’s been a while!

    Fantastic one! I loved it!

    Doc, Prerna- a weird coincidence – i’ve got hayden, ponting engaged in a conversation with a guest at :

    Disclaimer and a warning : It’s rated R and it’s really not politically correct at all though.

  11. Narendra, Farkandfunk,
    Welcome here…

  12. ๐Ÿ™‚

    seriously cool

  13. Lol! This was ROTFL hilarious! ๐Ÿ˜€

  14. Thanks, Nova and Prax!

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