WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS 04-12-08

TOP QUOTES OF THE WEEK

I should be excited because this is a historic night for television. Earlier tonight, all three — I don’t think this has ever happened before — all three presidential candidates appeared on “American Idol.” That’s true, yeah. It was interesting. Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell looked at them and said, “Wait, there’s a black guy, a woman and a cranky white guy. You stole our formula!” (Conan O’Brien)

Taxes are due next week. We all hate paying taxes, but without our tax money, many politicians would not be able to afford prostitutes. (Jimmy Kimmel)

A new survey confirms that the Bible is America’s favorite book, especially among politicians who are killing time at motels waiting for their escorts to arrive. (Pedro Bartes)

Congress learned Tuesday that government workers charged tailor-made suits, Internet dating, lingerie and dinners to their government credit cards. The timing is no accident. It’s a clever ploy to take everyone’s mind off the money we’re wasting in Iraq. (Argus Hamilton)

John Corzine, governor of New Jersey and Clinton superdelegate, says he might switch his allegiance to Barack Obama. But this is not unprecedented. He would not be the first governor of New Jersey to switch from a woman to a guy. (Jay Leno)

The Clintons disclosed their tax information and in eight years they have donated over $10 million to charity. Yeah, and, in addition to Charity, Bill has also donated to Tiffany, Bambi, Chrystal, Amber, Brandi and Roxanne. (Alex Kaseberg)

The military is spending $153 Million a month on fuel for the war in Iraq. That and $4 a gallon gas in the U.S. pretty much proves the government’s claim that we didn’t invade to keep oil prices down. (Jim Barach)

Here’s kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody’s around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it? (Jay Leno)

President Bush met with Vladimir Putin at the Russian leader’s heavily wooded retreat in the Black Sea resort of Sochi. Following a lavish state dinner, the two leaders joined a traditional folk dance backed by a chorus of Cossacks. The president thinks it will improve his popularity if he’s seen on Dancing with the Czars. (Argus Hamilton)

Atlanta, Newark, Philadelphia and New York now offer medical services at airport clinics, treating passengers with time to kill during layovers. Convenience plus. You can now score a quickie colonoscopy while they’re searching for your luggage (Bob Mills)

New York’s Mercantile Exchange saw oil prices continue to climb Wednesday. The dwindling value of our currency helps run up the cost per barrel. There was a time when Americans thought that nothing was as valuable as the U.S. dollar, and today it is. (Argus Hamilton)

Former presidential candidate John Edwards announced he will not — will not — accept the nomination for vice president. Which is really important, considering no one has asked him. (Jay Leno)

This month, the Pentagon will issue hand-held lie detectors to U.S. Army soldiers in Afghanistan. They costs $7500 each and are 60% accurate. Some people think it is a waste of money because we can use another device with 50% accuracy that’ll save us $7,499.75. Just flip a quarter. (Pedro Bartes)

THE CANDIDATES

John McCain is rumored to be close to asking his former rival, Mitt Romney, to be his running mate. You might remember that when they were running against each other, McCain accused Romney of having two positions on every issue. I guess now he figures there will at least be one position he likes, so what the (heck). (Jimmy Kimmel)

John McCain said this week he will release his medical records in May. He says he is only on three medications — aspirin, Claritin and another pill they did not identify. Well, let’s see, he’s got a a wife that’s 20 years younger, he’s in his 70s. (Jay Leno)

After Governor Bill Richardson switched his support from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama last week, an angry Bill Clinton said, “Five times to my face he said he would never do that.” Wow, so he looked you right in the face and lied to you. What’s that like? (Seth Meyers)

A new TV commercial for Hillary Clinton says she has, quote, a spine of steel. A spine of steel. When he heard this, John McCain said, “Oh yeah, well, I’ve got a titanium hip” (Conan O’Brien)

A lot of people whispering about John McCain’s temper. Well, this is the latest. It’s been reported that John McCain once got so angry at his wife during a public appearance that he called her the worst name you can call your wife. Yeah, that’s right. He called her Hillary. (Conan O’Brien)

Condoleezza Rice is lobbying to be considered for the GOP vice presidential nod despite her record of foreign policy debacles. The GOP presidential nominee would have to be clinically insane to add her to the ticket. So it’s as good as done. (Argus Hamilton)

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is now denying that she’s interested in being John McCain’s vice presidential nominee. She says she doesn’t want the job. She believes McCain is a great leader, but she has no training as a registered nurse. So, consequently, she would not be able to assist in any way. (Jay Leno)

Senator Jay Rockefeller apologized for saying John McCain didn’t care where his bombs fell on Vietnam. Imagine Rockefeller’s surprise at all the demands for an apology. People who own Exxon aren’t used to anybody telling them that they’re wrong. (Argus Hamilton)

I feel for John McCain. He has a tough road to hoe now. He’s trying to distance himself from George Bush, first off, by completing sentences with punctuation. (Bill Maher)

John McCain says he has 20 names on a list of possible vice presidential candidates. Unfortunately, most of the names on the list are characters on “Matlock.” (Conan O’Brien)

Last week, John McCain visited his old school. In high school, he studied Latin. Did you know that? Well, he had to, that was the only language spoken. (Jay Leno)

John McCain has not been using Secret Service protection. You see, he has Life Alert. (Jay Leno)

Big day in Washington. General Petraeus, the top general in Iraq, testified on Capitol Hill today, and he was questioned by Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. That’s right, Obama and Clinton both had the same question for Petraeus — “Are you, by any chance, a superdelegate?” (Conan O’Brien)

Hillary was caught in a bit of a lie. When she was first lady, she went to Bosnia when it was war-torn. She said that she faced sniper fire. Never happened. And had to run to the car for cover. Never happened. If only she had channeled that active fantasy world into her marriage. (Bill Maher)

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well. (Jimmy Kimmel)

It looks like there’s a little more fudging of Hillary’s records. Remember when she said she was deeply involved in the Irish Peace Process? Turns out, she just saw “Lord of the Dance.” (Jay Leno)

Hillary Clinton’s campaign on Friday released her joint tax returns showing $109 million in income over the last seven years. Though most of that comes from Bill Clinton’s speaking engagements, book royalties and stud fees. (Amy Poehler)

Bill and Hillary Clinton released their tax returns Friday, revealing that they made nearly a hundred and ten million dollars since leaving the White House. No one begrudges them. Americans have always felt that great comedians are worth every penny. (Argus Hamilton)

Last week Hillary Clinton compared herself to Rocky. And this just in: Bill Clinton has compared himself to Bullwinkle. (Toms Lake Humor Company)

It looks like Barack Obama has taken a 10-point lead over Hillary Clinton. You know they say that behind every successful man there is a woman; unfortunately for Hillary, it’s her. (Jay Leno)

On Barack Obama bowling a 37 out of 300 while campaigning in Pennsylvania: “Of course, being a Democrat, he automatically demanded a recount. (Jay Leno)

PRESIDENT BUSH

Down in Washington, D.C., President Bush threw the first pitch at a Nationals game. He left at the seventh inning, and I thought, “Great. At least he has an exit strategy for that.” (David Letterman)

President Bush was in Bucharest for his last NATO summit. He tried to compliment the people of Romania by saying, “I really enjoy your lettuce.” (Alan Ray)

President Bush offers plan for home crisis: summer in Kennebunkport, winter in the Emirates. (Michael Feldman)

THE ADMINISTRATION

Bush’s secretary of housing is stepping down. Well, sure! No one’s got a house anymore. He’s got nothing to do! (Jay Leno)

The secret service is expected to spend more than $4 million to protect Dick Cheney’s life for six months after the Bush administration leaves office. Cheney will be mostly surrounded with guys with defibrillators and a special CPR unit. (Pedro Bartes)

THE REPUBLICANS

Bars and restaurants in Minneapolis will be able to open until 4 am during the Republican National Convention. As for the bathrooms, GOP members requested they stay open 24 hours a day. (Pedro Bartes)

THE CONGRESS

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is blasting the Congressional delay on the Colombian free trade agreement. It’s getting so bad, Juan Valdez has been forced to eat his own donkey. (Jake Novak)

Republican Senator David Vitter, remember him? Remember the guy who admitted he was having sex with a prostitute? Remember, he thought that was all over? Well, he’s back in the news again. It looks like he may be forced to testify in the case of the DC Madam. That’s not good for your reputation, huh? You’re testifying in a prostitution case as an expert witness. That’s got to make for some interesting chit-chat with the wife over the breakfast table, huh? “Oh, honey, good luck in court today with your little whores.” (Jay Leno)

THE STATES

Lawmakers in Florida passed a bill that would allow people to take their guns to work with them except some places like prisons and schools. Aren’t those the places where you need guns the most? (Pedro Bartes)

Speaking of disgraced New York governors, Eliot Spitzer and his wife made their first public appearance yesterday. Oh, man. How uncomfortable is that? They went into the NYU Medical Center. Apparently, she’s having him castrated. (Jay Leno)

I thought this was great. It’s tax season. Governor and Mrs. McGreevey had a four-way with H & R Block. (David Letterman)

LOCAL NEWS

The Mayflower Hotel said its gift shop has sold out of souvenirs since the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal broke. The former governor spent eighty thousand dollars on hookers. He’s so grateful that the ethics rules did not allow him to put that money in Bear Stearns. (Argus Hamilton)

Michigan Firefighters carried all 200 senior citizens out of a fire at a three-story independent-living complex Wednesday. Most seniors agreed it was great to be alive — and warm for the first time this year. (Joe Hickman)

CRIME & PUNISHMENT

Newfane, VT, Sheriff captain Heidi Nelson has been charged with having a sexual relationship with a 17 year old student in her law enforcement class at Brattleboro High School. But in Heidi’s defense, she demonstrated proper arrest protocol by arresting herself in class. (Bob Mills)

SECURITY

The Department of Homeland Security has waived environmental and land management laws in order to complete a 670 mile long border fence. They also waived labor laws in hiring illegal workers to build it. (Jim Barach)

On Wednesday, federal regulators approved a plan to create a nationwide emergency alert system using text messaging. Apparently, they hired someone fast and reliable when it comes to text messaging: Detroit Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick. (Pedro Bartes)

THE ECONOMY & TAXES

In the wake of the expanding mortgage crisis, the Bush administration on Monday proposed the most far-reaching overhaul of the financial regulatory system since the Great Depression. On the downside, all banking transactions now begin with “Pick a card.” (Seth Meyers)

The U. S. economy lost 80,000 jobs in March. The government expects to get all those jobs back as soon as Oprah gets a new dog. (Pedro Bartes)

More bad news on the economic front. 80,000 people lost jobs last month. 80,000 people lost jobs. But, to be fair, most of those are politicians caught with hookers. (Jay Leno)

78% of those polled say the economy is worse than it was five years ago. President Bush says that at least that means during his presidency there were some good times. (Jim Barach)

Alan Greenspan told CNBC reporters Tuesday the U.S. economy is in recession. Yet he’s doing quite well himself. Alan Greenspan retired last year as the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, and with that generally comes a lucrative modeling career. (Argus Hamilton)

THE MILITARY

The Pentagon will begin equipping U. S. soldiers with hand-held lie detectors. Expect fewer and fewer visits from politicians in the area. (Pedro Bartes)

Here’s your technology at work. The Pentagon now has developed a handheld lie detector that’s gonna be distributed to troops. It’s amazing. They can actually aim it at someone, and when the person is talking, they can tell if that person is lying. In fact, when the military showed this to Senator Clinton, she said, “Get that damn thing away from me.” (Jay Leno)

An internal audit has revealed that employees of the Veterans Administration charged $2.6 million to the government for vacations, casino visits, parties, designer clothes and purchases from Sharper Image. In their defense, they were testing Sharper Image’s new “Limp-Master,“ combination air purifier, FM radio and leg prosthesis. (Bob Mills)

MEXICO & LATIN AMERICA

Hillary Clinton said reasonable people differ over the merits of the Colombia free-trade deal, admitting she’s against it and her husband is for it. Bill takes the money for supporting the trade deal while Hillary takes the votes for opposing the trade deal. Chelsea taught them how to do that when she worked for the hedge fund. (Argus Hamilton)

Hugo Chavez canceled The Simpsons on Venezuelan television Tuesday. He deemed it inappropriate for kids and replaced it with Baywatch. What leader doesn’t think that big-busted women in bikinis are better for children than anti-government satire? (Argus Hamilton)

IRAQ & IRAN

I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but in Iraq, the Shiite has hit the fan. This war going on between a powerful Shiite militia and the Iraqi army, which is a powerful Shiite militia. It’s so violent that Baghdad and five other cities now are in complete lockdown. No one can go on the streets. So, if you’re a Republican looking for a photo-op to show how peaceful it is, now is a good time. (Bill Maher)

The ambassador to Iraq said today there has been an economic revival in Baghdad. Well, it’s nice to see Bush’s economic plan working out somewhere. (Jay Leno)

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Tuesday his nation is making great progress on its nuclear program. He said scientists are installing thousands of new centrifuges to enrich uranium. In Los Angeles, this is known as suicide by cop. (Argus Hamilton)

THE OLYMPICS

The Olympic torch is an ancient tradition. It symbolizes fire stolen from the Greek God Zeus by Prometheus. Prometheus stole the fire from Zeus, and he gave it to an old guy named John McCain. (Craig Ferguson)

The International Olympic Committee is considering ending the international leg of the Beijing Olympic torch relay because of anti-Chinese protests, and because no one can afford the lighter fuel to keep the torch lit. (Jake Novak)

Got a lot of protests with the Olympics torch coming through California. See it on the news today? Man, you know, I can’t believe this state even allowed the torch in here. Not because of Tibet. I mean, the guy running through the state with a giant torch at the beginning of brushfire season. How smart is that? (Jay Leno)

The Olympic torch has arrived in Beijing. It will be taken all across China, where it will be used to set protesters on fire. (Jake Novak)

Canada may boycott the summer Olympics, because of China’s treatment of Tibet. When asked about the boycott, Canada’s prime minister said, “I’m very angry at China – plus we suck at summer sports. ” (Conan O’Brien)

A lot of Democrats are asking President Bush to boycott the opening of the Olympics. Well, good luck with that. With the flags, the parades, the balloons? He loves balloons! (Jay Leno)

Well, a few times, the protesters became so aggressive that the Chinese security team had to retreat with the torch to one of their embassies. Luckily, there was a Wal-Mart in the area, so that’s a protected area. (Jay Leno)

Fearful about the prospect of human rights protesters ruining the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China today announced a plan to move the summer games to a remote location where no one can find them. (Andy Borowitz)

San Francisco hosted the Olympic torch relay Wednesday amid protests against China’s troops beating Tibetans with sticks. Congress is concerned. We should have asked about China’s collections department before we borrowed ten trillion dollars from them. (Argus Hamilton)

FRANCE & WESTERN EUROPE

Officials in Copenhagen, Denmark announced plans for a gay-only cemetery space. It’ll be the only cemetery where people are buried face down (Pedro Bartes)

INDIA & THE SUBCONTINENT

A baby with two faces was born in a northern Indian village, where she is doing well and is being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess. In America, any 2-faced child could grow up to be president. (Joe Hickman)

A baby with two faces was born in a northern Indian village, media reports say. She is considered a goddess because she can answer customer questions twice as fast as any other Indian tech support. (Pedro Bartes)

AFRICA

Liberia’s former ruler Charles Taylor had a bad day at his war crimes trial at the Hague Thursday. His staffers said he had his enemies murdered and cannibalized. One day the dictator got severe indigestion when he ate someone who disagreed with him. (Argus Hamilton)

SCIENCE & HEALTH

A new study done by the Primate Research Center says that chimpanzees communicate by using facial expressions. In a related story, a study done by Fox News says that Republicans communicate by using American Flag lapel pins. (Patrick Gorse)

A report says the cost of health care is rising. The news was overwhelming to most patients. The investigator actually got in to see a doctor? (Alan Ray)

An Oregon man claims he is pregnant. Guys, this is what can happen if your wife takes your Viagra by mistake. (Alex Kaseberg)

In science news, this is interesting. British scientists have mixed human DNA with cow DNA. Now, wasn’t Bill Clinton impeached for doing the same thing? (Jay Leno)

Scientists say that fish oil can fight off Alzheimer’s. That is if they remember to take one pill a day. (Pedro Bartes)

The latest cell phone advance is voice-activated text messages. You can send a text message by just talking on the phone instead of typing. Wow, voice-text messages, pictures, videos, songs, movies, next thing you know you’ll be able to use a cell phone to talk to another person. (Alex Kaseberg)

THE WEATHER & THE ENVIRONMENT

The Weather Channel showed spectacular hailstorms and lightning strikes across the South and up in Wyoming. The severe weather only struck the gun rights states. However, Charlton Heston is working night and day with Ben Hogan to correct his slice. (Argus Hamilton)

SPORTS

Wilt Chamberlain may be immortalized with his photograph on a U.S. postage stamp, it was reported Friday. The basketball legend claimed in his autobiography that he slept with ten thousand women. They are putting his picture on the overnight stamp. (Argus Hamilton)

Kansas beat Memphis to win the NCAA men’s championship. The Kansas cheer is “Rock, chalk, Jayhawk” but nobody knows what it means. Kind of like the term; “US-Iraq exit strategy”, nobody has a clue what that means. (Alex Kaseberg)

Bill Buckner has thrown out the ceremonial first pitch at the Red Sox opening game at Fenway Park. The ceremony was delayed because Buckner arrived late after “he couldn’t catch” his ride in time. (Pedro Bartes)

It was the 96th opening day for the Boston Red Sox at Fenway Park Tuesday afternoon, and the team pulled out all the stops. Naomi Campbell threw out the first cell phone. (Patrick Gorse)

The San Francisco Giants removed every image of Barry Bonds from their stadium before this week’s home opener. No team has signed him yet. Barry Bonds says he’s in shape and he wants to play, but so far his only offer is from Senator Larry Craig. (Argus Hamilton)

Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart apologized Thursday after photos of him surfaced on the Internet. They show him in his hot tub with four girls, drinking from a beer bong. Everyone’s disappointed. At the scouting combine he did six girls and two bongs. (Argus Hamilton)

Formula One chairman Max Mosley was taped being spanked by five hookers dressed as Nazis at a club in the London suburb of Chelsea. He refused to resign Monday. Bill and Hillary Clinton are demanding that he be fired for linking prostitutes to Chelsea. (Argus Hamilton)

ENTERTAINMENT

Disney has announced that they are filming “High School Musical 4.” Keep in mind they are still filming “High School Musical 3.” It makes you wonder how many years these kids can stay in high school. (Jimmy Kimmel)

Ringling Bros. Circus is in Madison Square Garden, but I don’t think I’m going to the circus this year; if I want to see clowns at Madison Square Garden, I’ll go to a Knicks game. (David Letterman)

THE MEDIA

CBS News was reported Monday to be negotiating to outsource all news reporting to CNN. The cable news networks are all ripe takeover targets. Their daily coverage of Barack Obama is so worshipful that they’re now tax-exempt as religious broadcasters. (Argus Hamilton)

The flashy, $450-million “Newseum” opened today in Washington, D.C. Most of that $450million has already been spent on the Katie Couric memorial. (Jake Novak)

CELEBRITIES

Beyoncé was wearing a huge diamond ring at Jay-Z’s concert in Atlanta on Tuesday night. Reporters cannot decide weather this is a confirmation that they are married or Jay-Z has been caught cheating on her. (Pedro Bartes)

Jerry Seinfeld rolled his Fiat when his brakes failed on a highway Friday. He jerked the emergency break, spun his steering wheel, rolled over twice and walked away unharmed. Nothing annoys the Highway Patrol like the annual James Bond auditions. (Argus Hamilton)

Doris Day the Untold Story reveals the affair Doris Day had with Mickey Mantle in 1962. He was a star and she was a star and they met regularly at a New York hotel, and no one noticed. The Cuban Missile Crisis had everybody looking up that fall. (Argus Hamilton)

Rob Lowe sued two former nannies in Beverly Hills Tuesday for spreading gossip that he tried to bed them. They signed confidentiality agreements. The sex scandal is the first sign that NBC’s West Wing will be back this fall with Rob Lowe as president. (Argus Hamilton)

Ashlee Simpson announced yesterday that she and Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz are engaged. She also announced that she’ll get into the studio this week to record her vows to be able to lip-sync them at the wedding ceremony. (Pedro Bartes)

Ted Turner told PBS Friday that in forty years, global warming will destroy all crops and man will be reduced to cannibalism. Then he called the insurgents in Iraq patriots. One day Ted Turner’s bones will be on display at the Dinosaur Park in Utah, representing the age when television networks were not owned by the defense industry. (Argus Hamilton)

Eliot Spitzer was swarmed by photographers Tuesday when he arrived at New York University Medical Center. No one knows why. His friends have been concerned about his health ever since they found out he coughed up four thousand dollars for a hooker. (Argus Hamilton)

Larry King was ejected from a Beverly Hills Little League game last week where his nine-year-old boy was playing. It’s a special setting. In Beverly Hills Little League, if a kid gets four balls he doesn’t walk, his mother drives him to first base. (Argus Hamilton)

EDUCATION

In a nationwide survey just released today, high school seniors, on the average, answered correctly only 48% of the questions about personal finance and economics. Only 48%. But that’s still 10% better than Bush’s economic team. (Jay Leno)

Evergreen State College paid $51,000 for damage to police cars following a college sponsored hip hop concert. Seems P. Diddy fans were outraged by the appointment of Snoop Dogg to the schools’ prestigious Eminem Chair in Music. (Bob Mills)

CULTURE

Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee discovered in a study that cities that ban smoking in bars have more drunk drivers on the road. How lazy are we getting that we need to get in our cars to go 25 ft away from the bar to be able to smoke. (Pedro Bartes)

BUSINESS & LABOR

Starbucks has canceled its plans to sell a one-dollar cup of coffee. A company spokesman said, “You’ll still be able to get a one-dollar cup of coffee at Starbucks but it’s going to cost you eight bucks.” (Conan O’Brien)

Boeing announced another delay involving its 787 jetliner, pushing its expected debut to the third quarter of 2009. It’s horse racing season and Boeing is having a hard time finding jockeys to test the plane’s seats for width and leg room. (Paul Seaburn)

American Airlines canceled another 900 flights today as it continues to perform safety inspections on certain jets. The only people in real danger now are American Airlines ticket agents. (Jake Novak)

American Airlines canceled a thousand flights Wednesday to inspect the wiring on its jets. It’s obvious why. Ever since airlines stopped serving food in economy class, passengers have been gnawing through the floorboards on cross-country flights. (Argus Hamilton)

Linens ‘N Things is expected to file for bankruptcy today. The company says it always did well with sales of linens, but not so much with the things.(Jake Novak)

POLLS & STUDIES

According to a recent survey, 61% of the top historians in the U. S. rank George W. Bush as the worst president ever. When the president was told about it, he said he still has some months to convince the other 39%. (Pedro Bartes)

And according to a recent poll, one out of five people in their 20s believe you can love more than one person at a time. Yeah. Is that shocking? Hey, two out of two New York governors believe that. (Jay Leno)

According to a New York Times/CBS poll, 81% of Americans believe the country is on the wrong track. The other 19% admitted they’re not really paying attention.” –Jay Leno

In a recent survey historians said that only 1.8 percent of the Bush’s presidency could be classified as a success. Apparently, they took into account Bush’s vacation time. (Pedro Bartes)

A new study from the University of Michigan shows that having a husband creates an extra seven hours of extra housework a week for women. But in all fairness, wives still have more free time, because they do not have sex anymore.(Pedro Bartes)

A CBS poll says Americans’ view of the economy is at an all time low. Only 4% feel the economy is getting better. Those are mostly homeless people who are squatting in homes abandoned by people who had subprime mortgages. (Jim Barach)

7 responses to “WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS 04-12-08

  1. Nice long post Rdoc. Good to know you are well and back to writing again. You do follow a lot of international news!

  2. Maybe you said you have titled this post:
    Not-so-Weakly!

  3. Nita,
    I don’t do anything more than copy and paste. The entire collection is the creation of a doctor named Stan Kegel, who is acknowledged in the Humerus News page.
    This is the shortest blog-post I do, in time terms!

  4. I enjoy it all the same. Thanks to Stan Kegel and many thanks to you.

    By the way, I envy the Americans their liberty. They can get away with calling their seniormost politicians and dignitaries all kinds of things from two-faced to sex-maniac. Imagine calling, say Mulayam Singh or Bal Thakeray a two faced twister! You would be crocodile feed before you could say “asylum”

  5. I have read your WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS for the first time. Loved it. 😆 It was great fun.

  6. narendra shenoy,
    //Imagine calling, say Mulayam Singh or Bal Thakeray a two faced twister! You would be crocodile feed before you could say “asylum”// not fair. People here get away with lot more than this here in India. If you haven’t experienced it so far wait for the next general elections.

  7. Thank you , guys, for the comments. I agree that there is essentially no real freedom of speech in India.

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