WOMEN ARE CHASTE, MEN ARE ROGUES, AND OTHER FAIRY TALES

The suggestively titled magazine More has found in a survey that “one in four young women has slept with more than 10 people, compared with one in five men who had done the same”. The poll was held in the UK, as you can read from this article. The new article was mistakenly printed in the New Cars section.

The article does not say how many of these ‘people’ are themselves or their pets, but that will be the contents of another one with 5000 Diggs.

Critics of the survey are quick to point out that while the article says “half of those questioned admitted they had been unfaithful, whereas only a quarter said they had been cheated on by a boyfriend”, it does not specifically say whether the respondents felt they had cheated on themselves by bonking their neighbors’ pets.

The survey also found that most young women would rather sleep with their MacBooks than with the men they married, because they did not believe in sex within marriage and sex with love. For that, they had themselves or their cheat-shits.

Scientists estimate that the average British woman surrenders her virginity as soon as she gets her first iPhone or iPod, which is around infancy, but say that these other events are “mere epiphenomena”. A venerable journal of social science, the Son Sun, recently reported that men with condoms stuck on the outside of their shirts were more potent and fertile than men who were more conservative, as deduced from their “wearing underwear over their trousers while catching the Tube.”

A spokesperson for the British Sluttistical Institute claimed that, by the yardstick of the More survey, most people in Britain have had sex with every other. The Secretary of the Institute, Mr. Bansi Lal, stated that the survey needed follow up to prove an exciting new hipothesis that “Indians in UK are the only Indians really getting laid.”

When questioned about the hipothesis being contradicted by the high birth rates in India, Mr. Lal said, “Arrey, that is because we are getting [bleep]ed by those Pakistani [bleep]ers!”

(Indian) Union Health Emperor Mr. Ambumani Ramadoss could not be contacted. His office said he is busy on a mission in the UK.

Ex-Home Minister Shivraj Patil was also unavailable, as he was busy generally [bleep]ing around.

18 responses to “WOMEN ARE CHASTE, MEN ARE ROGUES, AND OTHER FAIRY TALES

  1. Hahaha! Most delicate and enjoyable!

    Naren:
    Yes, I agree, but who, or what?

  2. The poll was held in the UK…

    No further explanation for the results is needed 😉

    TRF:
    Ha! Silly season, is this?

  3. I am sure the results would be different in other countries, assuming that the sample size and methodology employed in this survey is correct and Brits are really like this. I have never heard of More magazine.

    Nita:
    Trust you to make a serious remark like that!

  4. @ Nita:

    I think doc is referring to an Italian magazine called Amore, and either forgot the ‘A’ or deliberately omitted it to throw off the track our sanskriti-rakshaks who have infiltrated the P&T Department.

    Vivek:
    The Sanskriti Rakshas, actually.

  5. You do have a thing for pets, don’t you?! You give an impression (no pun) of quite the animal lover 😐

    Gauri:
    In the innocent sense of the term, yes! Why the glum facies?

  6. Another example of Indians getting screwed, eh? 😀

    Are you, Nikhil, speaking for yourself, considering the goings-on in your blog?

  7. Ha ha ha ha brilliant. We are getting fuck** all over now. This one is an orgy 🙂 China, US, Pak, Sri Lanka….

    Thanks, Chirag. Why miss out Nepal and Bangladesh: the small fish can also take a big chunk out of your flesh!

  8. Vivek S. Khadpekar

    @ Doc:

    Rakshak, rakshas, ki farak painda’ai?

  9. Long time no see, Doc.
    Delicioso post. Have to tell you though, our girls are ever more precocious and sexing up earlier and earlier than us old, old feeble >35 yo group age group 🙂
    I see today’s teen, subadults/younger adults as living petri dishes, actually. But how so very beautiful they are!
    You might also want to know that women are just as er, horny as men, but minimize it more.
    Tis true, friends, that sex is wonderful, natural, but really, a modern woman can fulfill urgent needs with toys. Yes, you occasionally miss the warm body next to you, but men are soooooo needy that way. 🙂

  10. //In the innocent sense of the term, yes!//

    That would be the only sense I know and refer to. Why would anyone want to specify?! Holy cow! (And before it sets you thinking, that’s just an expression :P)

    -g

  11. R-Doc:

    Even allowing for human tendency to exaggeration and bombast, just one night out on a weekend and you will see living proof of the veracity of the claims made in this survey. If that empirical evidence requires much engagement of the imagination, consider our sky-rocketign STI/ STD incidence and prevalence numbers. If that does not suffice, consider the many European and other holiday destinations who declare that Brits are their worst nightmares as ‘visitors’.

    As for Indians, the sooner we stop pretending that somehow our 1.2Bn are a result of immaculate conception, the better. As the joke goes: In India, a woman is giving birth every 2 minutes, said one. The other replied with urgency – we must find and stop that woman. 😉

  12. NOYB:
    How the [bleep] is any decent Indian supposed to know an ole gal with a name like NOYB?!
    I do, though, and it is wonderful to see you here!

    Gauri:
    Innocence needs to be protected, often by twisted words and thoughts.

    Shefaly:
    Hahaha! So my post is a brilliant satire on not merely British sexual mores, but also scientific studies and Indian hypocrisy, did you just say that?
    Thanks, thanks, I just patted my back on your behalf (never mind the odd look from the guy who wanted to stop the procreating Indian woman)!

  13. i hope this doesn’t start happening in India too or maybe is it…you never know??

  14. “British Sluttistical Institute”
    😆

  15. So much for sex education and the national wide debates….

  16. Hi Rambodoc! good one again! There is a surprise waiting for you in my latest post…

  17. No matter how hard they try, the Brits can never beat us! And believe me, most of the people in the survey must be bragging.

  18. Hey, you latecomers!
    Thanks for your comments! I am bushed, and not taking your individual names, so sue me (men are such rogues, aren’t they?)!!

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