Category Archives: global warming



Hillary Clinton still doing very well in one state: the state of denial. (Jay Leno)

According to a research, a big number of Americans are still reluctant to vote for minorities, which is bad news for blacks, women and Republicans. (Pedro Bartes)

The House Commerce Committee tried to force pro sports to freeze athletes’ blood and store it for future HGH testing. The administration opposes the idea, calling it unconstitutional. Republicans are constitutionally opposed to bleeding rich people. (Argus Hamilton)

Roger Clemens faces a perjury probe today for denying steroid use to the House Oversight Committee. It seems a little harsh to charge him with lying to Congress. It’s not like everybody believed him and invaded Iraq on the strength of what he said. (Argus Hamilton)

What do you call somebody at a Ralph Nader campaign rally? Ralph Nader. That’s the only one there. (Jay Leno)

Well, you know who’s thrilled that Nader is back in the race? John McCain. He’s not the oldest guy anymore. (Jay Leno)

Barack Obama was accused of plagiarizing words from another politician. He says it’s no big deal, that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself and that in four score and seven years from now, who will remember? (Jim Barach)

President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, leading economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession. (Andy Borowitz)

The Secret Service ordered Dallas police to stop screening people for weapons as they entered an arena for Barack Obama’s speech Wednesday because the line was slow. There’s no reason to worry. For crying out loud, it’s Dallas, what could happen? (Argus Hamilton)

Obama and Hillary argued last night over which candidate the Republicans are most afraid of. Interesting. I don’t want to take sides here, but I think it’s pretty obvious which candidate Republicans are most afraid of: John McCain. (Jay Leno)

Several states are investigating Bud and Miller Brewing for caffeinated alcohol products. Apparently the drinks keep you just awake enough to get in your car and drive while drunk. (Jim Barach)

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As social scientists, economists, and environmentalists keep telling us, much of the world’s poor can be defined by their lack of adequate access to safe and potable water.
Says futurist Peter von Stackelberg, “By 2025, about 3.4 billion people will live in regions that are defined by the UN as water-scarce.”

Original article: here.


If we are indeed going to drown in drought, what solutions are available?

While much of the future of universal water depends on political and social activity, technological advances in three major areas will be critical for the hydrological future: desalination of seawater or brackish groundwater, purification of water containing chemical or biological contaminants, and conservation to cut demand.

*Flash Desalination: Using a source of high energy, sea water is heated till the vapor accumulates in a low-pressure chamber. Indian scientists have invented a low cost version of this which uses less energy.

*Water harvesting:

In Beijing, the National Stadium built for the 2008 Olympic Games is designed with a nano-filtration system and underground pools that can capture and process up to 100 tons of rainwater an hour. Seattle’s King Street Center, a 327,000-square-foot commercial building constructed in 1999, captures rainwater for use in the building’s sewage system and for landscaping needs, saving about 1.5 million gallons of water a year.

*Smart Water Application Technologies (SWAT):

This is one way to curb water usage. For instance, irrigation of residential landscapes typically applies 30-40% more water than needed. But a system that has been tested in California, Washington, and several other western states has linked sensors that monitor rainfall and soil moisture to a “smart” controller. Water consumption has decreased by an average of 26%, with some consumers cutting their usage by as much as 59%.

von Stackelberg stresses that there are three factors which will influence water availability in the future: low-cost power for desalination, nanowater (high-tech filtering), and green engineering, wherein zero wastewater from industrial facilities is achieved.

“A paradigm shift will be required if water shortages are to be avoided,” von Stackelberg says. Among these newer attitudes are the beliefs that human waste is a resource from which water can be harvested, and that storm water is a resource which needs to be captured and stored.

Though water usage is decried by most, I believe that it is impractical and perhaps unnecessary to do so. Surely, science will find a way out to make water widely available. After all, much of the planet is covered by oceans and seas. The problem, as I understand it, rests largely on how we can make sweet water from the sea.
Once again, the world will look to these solutions not from the laboratories of Cuban or Indian Governments, but the research centers of the First World, or private labs anywhere, including developing nations. After all, there is money to be made, Nobels to be won, and names to be immortalised if one can provide a solution to this global problem.
Nothing moves the world as much as love greed.



The major issues in the upcoming presidential primaries is now clear. For the Democratic candidates, it is who has the support of the best entertainment celebrity, while for the Republicans, it is who has the support of God. (Stan Kegel)

President Bush said Monday the U. S. economy is safe and sound. And if Americans will stay the course and keep spending more than they make, we will win the war against recession. Which the President blames on evil Democrats who want to spend his precious tax cuts on sick children. (Joe Hickman)

‘Tis the season for Middle East peace talks. Unfortunately, everybody wants to make the other guy sleep in the stable. (Joe Hickman)

If I had to sum up our overly-entitled and lowered-standards society in one sentence it would be: Madonna is being inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (Alex Kaseberg)

Ron Paul set an all-time record Sunday for the most money raised in one day by a presidential candidate with a six-million-dollar haul. It’s unprecedented. It’s the only record to be broken all year without the help of performance-enhancing drugs. (Argus Hamilton)

Joe Lieberman has endorsed John McCain for president. Of course, the Connecticut senator is from a different faith than others in Washington. He is bipartisan. (Alan Ray)

Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce from Paris-Hilton-sex-video-partner Rick Salomon, two months after tying the knot. Gosh, if those two down-to-earth, stable kids can’t make it, what chance does anyone have? (Alex Kaseberg)

Lynne Spears, Britney & Jamie Lee’s mother, had her book on parenting put on hold. The publisher decided it would be a safer bet to go with Lindsay Lohan’s book on safe driving. (Alex Kaseberg)

Die-hard Dallas Cowboy fans are blaming Tony Romo’s poor performance in their 10-6 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on Romo’s squeeze, Jessica Simpson. That is silly. The only way Jessica could lose a game for the Cowboys was if Jessica tallied-up the official score. Let’s face it, if having wild sex with a hot blonde made you play really lousy football, than that would mean the Oakland Raiders are dating Paris Hilton. (Alex Kaseberg)

Fred Thompson told Republicans Tuesday he wants to be the horse they ride to the White House. He said they just need to saddle him up. It’s ad-libbing like this that makes the Writers Guild feel like they’ve got the upper hand in the strike talks. (Argus Hamilton)

American men are named the fourth-worst lovers in the world. Mostly because we still prefer to make war not love. (Pedro Bartes)

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According to the latest numbers, our country’s national debt is growing by $1 million every minute. The Bush administration called its best economists and came up with a solution to save money: A 23-hour day. (Pedro Bartes)

December 7 is Pearl Harbor Day. Senator Ted Kennedy always commemorates the occasion in a fitting way. He goes out and gets bombed. (Alan Ray)

A man who claimed to have a bomb strapped to his chest, took hostages at Hillary Clinton’s campaign headquarters in New Hampshire and demanded to talk to Senator Clinton. This was the scariest time for Hillary since the night Bill mistakenly took Viagra instead of Lipitor. (Alex Kaseberg)

In a bold move that could dramatically alter the playing field of the 2008 G. O.P. presidential race, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee today named Jesus Christ as his vice-presidential running mate. “This could be huge for Huckabee,” said Stenson Partridge, a veteran G. O.P. consultant. “Among Republican voters, Jesus Christ is even more popular than Ronald Reagan.” The Reverend Pat Robertson, a supporter of former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani, said “I talked to Jesus last night and He didn’t mention anything about it.” (Andy Borowitz)

Rudy Giuliani billed New York for police protection for both his wife and his mistress seven years ago. He was sleeping with two women while recovering from prostate surgery. The Mitchell Report is expected to name sixty-four ballplayers and one mayor. (Argus Hamilton)

Porn star Mary Carey, who ran for governor of California against Arnold Schwarzenegger, is auctioning off her autographed, recently removed breast implants. It is not an uncommon idea; boobs in politics have been on sale for years in congress, ask lobbyists… (Pedro Bartes)

Ted Kennedy has signed a deal to write his autobiography. Although Kennedy is a little sensitive about including the word “auto” in his “biography”. (Jim Barach)

The Pope, is purging all modern music from the Vatican. The Pope is especially adamant that the priests give up their two favorite bands Boyz II Men and the Backstreet Boys. (Alex Kaseberg)

Hillary Clinton attacked Barack Obama during her speech in Iowa. The frontrunner is fading, the challenger can’t win, and the guys with all the talent can’t get any votes. This isn’t a presidential race, it’s the college football rankings. (Argus Hamilton)

On a feral cat which survived 19 days with its head stuck in a jar: That’s nothing. President Bush has survived living in a bubble since 2004. (Pedro Bartes)

New Jersey is preparing to scrap the death penalty next week. It makes sense, they’ve been outsourcing the death penalty to the private sector for years. (Alex Kaseberg)

Britney Spears again tops the list of the most frequent searches on Yahoo, but it’s not because she’s popular — it’s just that the confused performer keeps trying to find herself. (Scott Witt)

The government in Brazil is putting condom dispensing machines in public school restrooms to combat AIDS. If it works, it may be tried in the U.S., only they will be placed in the teachers’ lounge. (Jim Barach)

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My twelve year-old son is presenting a debate in favor of the motion: “THERE ARE LOTS OF SUBSTITUTES FOR HARD WORK!”
I present his thesis for your disapproval.
Start speech.

Let us look at what one would do hard work for.
A story first.
A man was lying under a tree, listening to the sound of singing birds.
Another man came by and accosted him: “Why don’t you go and do some hard work?”
“And then do what?”
“Then you can get a good job, and earn a lot of money.”
“And then do what?”
“Then you can eat well, sleep well, and enjoy your life!”
“What do you think I am doing now?”

So, friends, life is not all about hard work.

Let us say a word in favor of the opposite concept: laziness.

Now, people tend to look down on lazy people (like me) but, with my vast experience, let me tell you, laziness is no bunny-job. Try doing NOTHING. Just try it. You will instantly give it up. If you practise long and hard, and get really lazy, maybe the Guinness Book people will recognise you for record-breaking levels of doing nothing, and you could make a pot of money and get immortalised in the record books.

In addition, if we all got lazy, and did nothing, we would emit less heat. We would reduce so much of the heat that is part of Global Warming these days! If we all become citizens of Lazipore, our successful reduction of atmospheric temperatures could inspire a documentary by National Geographic channel or somebody. How far is a Nobel Prize away from this point? Only a few more sleepy days!

So, how about laziness as a substitute for hard work?

Not that there aren’t more of these.

I strongly recommend bathroom singing as a replacement for hard work. Bathroom singing can drive out all the rats and cockroaches from your house, if you can learn to sing like me. Why, by doing so, I have successfully driven out even the stray dogs and cats in my street! Now, you no longer run the risk of getting bitten on your backside if you want to come home to give me an iPod or something. So, no pesticides, no injections, just some songs, Bollywood at its, er, best. The animal rights people won’t exactly be unhappy!

Watch cartoons, too! Science is now saying that kids who watch TV are more likely to be smarter and cleverer, and their reflexes are faster. So, can hard work do this for you? Probably, but with such a better option, who cares?

I had planned to list a few more substitutes to talk about, but I didn’t have time. Too busy lazing around, you see?! Laziness at my level is a lot of hard work!
While there are substitutes for hard work, there is no substitute to laziness!

End speech.



The writers strike continues in Hollywood. Details are available, but
obviously, not written down. (Tim Hunter)

O. J. Simpson will stand trial for his Las Vegas hotel room break-in.
But the trial date is being delayed to accommodate the striking late-
night comedy writers. (Jake Novak)

Thanksgiving is next week. Historians say the early Pilgrims
celebrated the freedom to worship in their own way. And if anyone
disagreed with them, they were burned as witches. (Alan Ray)

“People” magazine has named Matt Damon as the sexiest man alive for
2007; and Larry King was named sexiest man nearly alive. (Alex Kaseberg)

A new poll shows that 50% of Americans oppose issuing a driver’s
license to illegal aliens, while 100% oppose issuing one to Britney
Spears. (Andy Borowitz)

Have you heard the Pakistani Miranda Oath? “You have the right to
beat up an attorney. If you don’t have time to beat up an attorney,
one will be beaten up for you.” (Patrick Gorse)

A peanut factory worker in Virginia was found dead under a pile of
peanuts. Apparently he died of shell shock. (Jim Barach)

“Wicked,” “Mamma Mia,” and “Rent” are among the hit Broadway shows
darkened by the Stagehands strike. Between the Stagehands Union and
the Writers Guild, there hasn’t been this many picketers on the Great
White Way since Giuliani threatened to impose a “hookers tax.” (Bob

In the next debate, Democrats are going to focus on Hillary Clinton’s
support and then back- peddling on New York’s proposal to give
driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. Even John Kerry said; “A
candidate can’t support an issue and then reverse their position. Oh
wait, yes they can. No, I was wrong, they can’t. Or can they?” (Alex

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Wait, wait, wait!” I told myself,“You are not going to drive out your readership by talking about malaria, of all things, are you? Write on things you know well, like the bathroom habits of boozed-out businessmen and sober socialites. Write on how bad other doctors are, compared to you. Etcetera.”


A recent paper published in the World Journal of Surgery interested me. First of all, the author’s name was familiar. In fact, I had written a blog post on one of his publications and scoffed at his pretentiousness.
This time, however, I wondered what his beef was. What was a surgeon trying to do by publishing an edit piece in the World Journal of Surgery on a very old medical disease like malaria?
My twisted mind told me that this was no scholarly treatise on the disease. Rather, underneath the medical jargon, there was a scathing indictment of Governments and world bodies like the WHO, and a hot story involving money, politics, global warming, the environment, and sex. Okay, not the last, but I thought I should raise your hopes a bit before I proceed.

A global perspective on malaria reveals that:
* It affects around 40% of the world’s population.
* Around 500 million cases of malaria occur every year (about 10 cases per second).
* 1 to 3 million children die of this disease annually. One could translate that to a death of one child every 30 seconds. Most deaths occur among young children in tropical Africa.

The author, perhaps, felt a need to justify writing on this topic:

……why do Third World surgeons and internists care so much for what, after all, is another ‘‘bug’’ for which cures have been discovered and Nobel Prizes long conferred? The question is answered by looking from the past to the future of malaria.
Malaria has defied all the predictions and plans of organizations such as the World Health Organization (WHO) by staging a massive comeback from the brink of extinction during the 1960s and 1970s. According to many public health experts, environmentalists must bear a significant burden of guilt for this owing to their campaign against the pesticide DDT. This agent removed malaria from endemic areas such as the United States (in 1951) before its use was almost banned a decade later for suspected (though unproven) damage to animals and humans. The use of DDT led to massive drops in the number of malaria cases, and the end of its use led to a massive resurgence.

Damn, damn, damn! Someone was actually attacking environmentalists?! WTF?
Actually, DDT was banned after Rachel Carson, in Silent Spring (1962), accused it of a range of dangers to human health (notably cancer), to the ecosystem and to thinning the eggshells of bald eagles. Ted Lapkin claims that “no scientific peer-reviewed study has ever replicated any case of negative human health impacts from DDT”.
He asserts that of all Carson’s charges “the only contention that has been scientifically proved is the thinning effect DDT has on the eggshells of predatory birds”. Several others have trashed Carson’s contention.

Bjorn Lomborg (The Skeptical Environmentalist)

Our intake of coffee is about 50 times more carcinogenic than our intake of DDT before it was banned…the cancer risk for DDT is about 0.00008 per cent.

Ted Lapkin:

(DDT is) still widely regarded as the single most powerful weapon at our disposal in the war against malaria and its disuse has been a scandal of public policy.

Author Michael Crichton:

Banning DDT is one of the most disgraceful episodes in the 20th century history of America.

It has even been speculated that the DDT ban (with the resultant deaths from resurgence of malaria) has been a Western ploy to control the population growth of the developing countries.

The environmentalists scoff disdainfully at the opposition, arguing that there are better alternatives to DDT, and that resistance of the malaria parasite to DDT was the main reason the world chose to ban DDT.

Crichton indicts the West, and especially the environmentalists. Take this quote from an article:

For Crichton, the most imperative of contemporary challenges is to retrieve responsible environmentalism from the clutches of those zealots for whom it has become a substitute faith….
“I am thoroughly sick of politicised so-called facts that simply aren’t true. It isn’t that these ‘facts’ are exaggerations of an underlying truth. Nor is it that certain organisations are spinning their case… in the strongest way. Not at all — what more and more groups are doing is putting out lies, pure and simple. Falsehoods that they know to be false. This trend began with the DDT campaign and persists to this day.”

Crichton estimates that between 10 and 30 million poor people of Asia and Africa have died because of aggressive environmentalism.

According to the WJS article, the return of malaria stems from several issues that, in turn, stem from interventionist Government business policies. Weak drug patency laws in Asian (including China, Thailand, and Cambodia) and African countries led to spurious chloroquine (the curative drug for malaria at the time) flooding the markets. The malaria parasite quickly became resistant to the drug. In spite of this, for long years, the WHO continued to push the drug as the main weapon against the bug.

So how much money is needed to fight malaria? The Bill Gates Foundation is at it, as is the WHO with its Roll Back Malaria program.

According to the WHO, around $2 billion per year is
required to halve the disease burden by 2010.

The WJS article quotes studies that trash the premise of this assessment:

Critics assert that public health spending and injection of foreign capital do not result in desired results. Filmer and Pritchett (1999) showed that although mortality in very young children could be massively reduced in the poorest countries by spending only $10 per child, the actual amount spent by governments to spare one child death is an incredible US $50,000 to $100,000. Among the several reasons for this, a couple are worth mentioning.
Public health agencies are inefficient and corrupt, with only a fraction (30–70%) of funds ending up in the community, and aid-financed drugs are sold in the black market. In addition, the presence of free public health
services drives out the private sector, resulting in a slothful monopoly in the health services
, a fact known to the people of Africa and Asia.

So, if pouring tax money on malaria prevention and control is not going to work, what is?
The article ends off lamely by saying:

Malaria, a disease that has survived a million years,
cannot be eliminated unless humankind eradicates what the
American playwright Eugene O’Neill called ‘‘the most
deadly and prevalent of all diseases’’—poverty.

There are very cogent arguments in scholarly studies that espouse a free market society as the ultimate solution to curb the ravage of malaria. The most wretchedly poor and socialist countries are the ones most affected by malaria.

Capitalism (as the most successful wealth-creating system) as malaria vaccine. Some concept, isn’t it?



Last night during the Democratic presidential debate, Senator Barack Obama accused Hillary Clinton of frequently changing positions. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, “I wish.” (Conan O’Brien)

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is in a little trouble this week, little trouble for saying marijuana is not a drug, it is a leaf, it is a plant. He said marijuana is not a drug and today his approval rating in California, 99.99%. (Jay Leno)

A lot of people are wondering now if Al Gore will run for president. Which would make it a Gore vs. Hillary Democratic primary. Kind of a global warming vs. global cooling. (Jay Leno

FEMA faked a press conference and earlier today, President Bush strongly condemned it – at his own fake press conference. (David Letterman)

“American Gangster” is in theaters on Friday. It’s a gritty, realistic look at the money and power of the illegal drug world. No politicians were harmed in the filming of this movie. (Alan Ray)
Senator Hillary Clinton celebrated her sixtieth birthday on Thursday with a fund-raising bash in New York hosted by Billy Crystal. Comedians all support Hillary. The idea of Bill Clinton being in the White House for eight years with nothing to do in the afternoon is the closest thing there is to the chemical formula for comedy. (Argus Hamilton)

President Bush has accused Congress of wasting time with an endless stream of investigations. He’s right. When the criminals have the right to withhold evidence and to refuse to testify, investigations are just plain silly. (Gorsefeathers)

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has announced that New York will give driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. So, for the first time ever, a lot of New York City cab drivers will actually have a license. (Jay Leno)

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said yesterday that global warming has some public health benefits and that it helps poor people in areas of cold winters. Apparently, she forgot to mention that global warming also provides long and nice baths when during floods and helps you lose weight when it causes famine. (Pedro Bartes)

Dennis Kucinich said in Tuesday’s debate he’s seen UFOs, right after he said it was time to check on President Bush’s mental health. It could all be true. Every week they pick up their lithium at the same pharmacy and act like they don’t know each other. (Argus Hamilton)
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I have seriously wondered if genius has genetic, hereditary roots. Or is it something geniuses eat?
Jeeves, the brainy genius of a “gentleman’s personal gentleman”, was fond of eating fish, which did a lot to energise his brain cells, Bertie Wooster always told us. Apart from the Curies (Marie and Pierre), my feeble mind cannot, off the cuff, recall other families where geniuses flourished. Oh, yes, the Marx brothers.
“Well, get to the effington post, will ya?”, you say, not without a less-than-benevolent look on your ugly face?

Well, here is the beef.

(Harsha with parents Kala and Ravi)

Harsha Ravi has been awarded, this very month, the title of the Australian Young Designer of The Year by Wheels magazine. He is, I am proud to say, my nephew. Hence the thought of genius being familial. Has mine rubbed off on him? A more reliable part of my brain asks me if there is any hope for his brilliance rubbing off on me, at an age when one fears that, tomorrow, one’s arteries could become stiffer than one’s sexual organs, especially in times of need.

What was the competition for the car design all about? Wheels said this before the competition:

On the 50th anniversary of the Fiat 500, we shall use the intervening technology to completely reinvent the urban vehicle. Functional, frugal and fun, our 500 will be a 2+1 design doubly true to its name: 500cc, 500kg. Design it.


Harsha just did that. And outdid himself, too.
Hear this from the judges and critics:

“[He has] applied technology in a way that made sense.”

Take, for example, its carbon-neutral, bioplastic body with 12 percent petroleum-based/88 percent corn-based plastic that reduces the energy needed to manufacture the panels by 30 percent.

The design presented as a wild concept, yet it brought thoroughly considered, integrated design with enough tech detail and illustration to flesh it out. Sargeant and Stolfo agreed: “He has obviously done a lot of research before even putting pen to paper.”

Despite its ahead-of-time technology — the zinc-air fuel cell, nano-paper battery and airless tyres were just the beginning — attention was also given to regional manufacture, right down to the illustration of a basket-weaver manufacturing the woven seat material, one of many touches that delighted and amused the judges.


What, essentially, is this car, GM Globetrotter, about?
Harsha says:

The GM Globetrotter is inventive as a lightweight, nimble urban vehicle aimed at various emerging and developed markets in 2017. A decade from now, the worldwide culture will be one of environmental consciousness, where increased awareness of climate issues will have engendered a scrutinising and well-educated Gen-Y consumer niche. They will demand aunthenticity and transparency in how a product’s lifecycle is managed
to reduce environmental harm.


Harsha goes on:

Given the likelihood that tomorrow’s consumers will be environment-sensitive, Globetrotter is designed from the ground-up and inside-out to be customisable and minimalistic at every step. It aspires to be functional, frugal, and fun, and gentle on the environment as well. The level of individualisation this offers to the consumer market allows for the car to seamlessly fit into virtually any global context.

What is it like to design a car? I asked Harsha.

The automotive design process begins by laying out vehicle architectures to act as templates for designers to start sketching over.
Car designers are often also art nuts, and have a profound understanding and appreciation of various creative media, which we draw upon for inspiration to create the visual surfaces of the car both inside and out.


He continues:

Once a 2D representation of the designer’s vision is seen to have potential, it is then translated by computer modelers into 3D space, a developmental process which runs in parallel with a tangible sculpture being carved out of a unique automotive clay. Often, it takes several iterations of the designer’s sketch, together with a dedicated team of designers, modelers, engineers, and software whizzes all combining their efforts over a 4-5 year period to ready the vehicle for manufacture.

Harsha says that automotive design is “deeply satisfying” for him, like a dynamic sculpture, “full of visual and emotive appeal.”

Now, considering that he is barely twenty, that is really insightful and philosophical. And lest I sound like the patronising uncle I don’t want to be, I shall stop right now.

Related reading: Harsha’s take on new car designs in Show And Tell, Wheels magazine.



What a terrific audience we have. We have 500 people here tonight. We have straight people, we have gay people, we have white people, we have black people. It’s like a Dick Cheney family reunion. (Jay Leno)

The smoke was so thick in Malibu you couldn’t see Britney Spears’ vagina. (Jimmy Kimmel)

Countrywide Financial announced Tuesday it will reach out and try to help millions of American homeowners refinance their sub-prime mortgages. It really looks like the market’s turning around. Real estate in Southern California has never been hotter. (Argus Hamilton)

More bad news today for Barack Obama. He just found out he’s related to Bill O’Reilly too. The guy can’t get a break! (Jay Leno)

A 16 year old girl’s prosthetic limbs were returned by the person who stole them. The family was concerned about having to buy replacements. Those things cost an arm and a leg. (Jim Barach)

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said yesterday that global warming has some public health benefits and that it helps poor people in areas of cold winters. Apparently, she forgot to mention that global warming also provides long and nice baths when during floods and helps you lose weight when it causes famine. (Pedro Bartes)

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the states with the most conservative Christians have the highest rates of divorce, the highest teen pregnancy rates and the highest obesity levels. Yes, they’re fat, knocked up and not talking to each other–but, at least they put homosexuality back where it belongs: in the airport men’s room. (Bill Moher)

Bob Jones University leaders endorsed Mitt Romney Tuesday despite the school’s stated belief that Mormonism is just a cult. Evangelicals are pragmatic if nothing else. They will nominate someone from a cult if that’s what it takes to defeat a witch. (Argus Hamilton)

This week Virgin Airlines began flying from Los Angeles to Washington DC. This also marks the first time the words Los Angeles, Washington DC and Virgin have ever been used together. (Alex Kaseberg)

A new study on marriage finds that too many Americans are getting married for the wrong reasons. Let me introduce them to you: My son “Broken Trojan” and my daughter “don’t worry is that day of the month.” (Pedro Bartes)

A Japanese company called Kaneko Sangyo Co. unveiled a brand new product: A portable, in-car toilet. The company warned the user to not use it for sexual purposes because you might hurt yourself if you do the foot tapping in the accelerator. (Pedro Bartes)

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