Many of my dear readers have been noticed to have been suffering from advanced stages of acute onychophagia. Simply put, nail chewing that has now started affecting the length of their dig-its.
The reason is as obvious as the phenomenon is stark: I have not been blogging for a while now.
As Vivek Khadpekar noted, I have not even posted the Weakly Humerus News post, which barely takes a couple of minutes for me to do.
I have been working hard, of course, as we all do, but it is my early morning workout that is killing my blogging. You see, I try to run at a speed at which crude oil moves in the international market, and oil this workout is leaving me sheikhen and Bushed.
I have also the added burden of having to earn more money for a new wardrobe. I have to buy trousers one size smaller now, but I am sure I will need another size smaller soon. An idiot reader is cautioned that I am talking of waist size, not crotch size. I am fantasizeing that when I lie supine, my preferred partner in bed will be able to palpate a rock hard, well, spinal column at the center of my abdomen (so devoid of lard I shall soon be, I imagine). It is a different matter as to why any sane person may have such a preference for parking her hands in such manner, but spice is the life of variety.
So, that, dear folks, is the reason I have been off this blog and yours’, too.
I am also, now that I have actually written a post by now, actively considering buying a good cycle to move around, and stop using my car except when necessary. You see, my work places are all within short distances. People laugh at my intentions. They say cars are deiselling points of one’s prosperity and success. Patients, they continue, won’t pay money to a cycle-top surgeon. I beg to differ. Patients don’t pay for what car I drive, they just pay for my car.
Or am I talking in cycles?

19 responses to “THE WITHDRAWAL METHOD

  1. Vivek Khadpekar


    Lucky you, fretting about having to invest in trousers one size smaller at the waist! I am quite envious.

    Have you considered seeking the services of that old-fashioned institution called “alter tailor” who would, for a small fee, reduce the waist measure (of the trousers, I mean) by the necessary centimetre or two. I realise what I am suggesting is as shocking as leading a Harley Street man astray from his customary Savile Row haunt, to bylanes where they’ve likely never seen a sovereign, let alone a guinea. But believe me, trousers reduced at the waist are not as obvious as those that are loosened. The alternative, of course, is suspenders. Whichever course you opt for, there’s bound to be a delightful olde-worlde establishment somewhere off-Chowringhee, off-Park Street — possibly a hole in the wall — that will happily service your needs. And the walk to it would do you good πŸ™‚

  2. At the rate you are going, you will have more posts apologizing for not blogging than actual blog posts! I think you should stop apologizing and blog whenever you have the time.

  3. (when I lie supine,) palpate a rock hard, well, spinal column at the center of my abdomen..?
    That’s surely beyond the scope of an ordinary female. Doc, are you lusting after a fellow surgeon?

  4. Vivek:
    Good idea….
    Okay, no more apologies, though this was not really one.
    I am not lusting. There is a severe dearth of good fellows in my industry!

  5. Enjoyed!
    Cycle top surgeon! I find the notion amusing! To tell you the truth, though I am no snob and my favorite Tshirt slogan is “Marxism rocks!”, I will not lend my gonads, for the purpose of vasectomy, to someone who has just dismounted from an Atlas Cycle. Narrow minded, perhaps, but prudent.

  6. A cycle? I like! Takes a man (stateside anyhow) very secure in his manhood to drive a non-obvious hot rod /muscle type car.
    Beware helmet hair though.
    Also, I figured you to be a Hummer loving type
    Yes, agree with Nita. Post when the mood strikes. We don’t do guilt. It’s the season here to just enjoy the weather for a change.

  7. Forgot to say: NO SUSPENDERS!
    Sorry, Mr. Vivek πŸ™‚

  8. Have not missed much ! Some apologies maybe ;-).

    Vivek, Jackie,
    Suspenders are much unappreciated lot. Thanks to the typical visual of portly potbelleied old guys with salt and pepper beard and a pipe in tow( Doc, not talking about you ! I swear..). The closest they came in desi sense to being mainstream was when Shahrukh sported it with good success in Yes Boss and some movies thereafter..

  9. Vivek Khadpekar

    Jackie, Athreya:

    Suspenders may no be the in thing now, but in their day, you have to admit, they must have made life very comfortable for the wearer — around the waist and up to some 20-25 cm down. I have no first-hand experience, of course, but I do have childhood memories of seeing some very dignified looking gentlemen in them. In fact they must have been at the opposite end of the comfort spectrum from corsets πŸ™‚ (again, no first-hand experience — in fact I have not even seen a woman in real life who wore a corset. Only in old films).

  10. Vivek Khadpekar

    Naendra Shenoy:

    I should imagine a bicycle-top doctor would be more upmarket than a barefoot doctor.

  11. Hahahahha good one πŸ™‚

  12. Vivek,
    Totally agree on your latest comments on suspenders (..but in their day, you have to admit..). I do not have first hand experience as well, but will give it a shot someday..

    Good to know you are not into corsets first hand.. ! πŸ™‚ …

  13. Vivek Khadpekar


    //Good to know you are not into corsets first hand.. !//

    Contrary to what I imagine you are thinking, corsets are not a feminine preserve. An orthopaedist should bear me out on that. In any case, as you have rightly observed, I have not as yet felt the need for one.

    But reverting back to the more commonly understood meaning, there are prepositions besides “into” that could be applied reasonably to the range of first-hand (especially “hand” πŸ™‚ ) experience — and strictly precluding ungentlemanly behaviour .

  14. A cycle is not a good idea. Quite a long time back, the Vice Principal of my school came on a cycle. He never gained our respect. πŸ˜€
    But, maybe, you might look good on a cycle after all the “gymming” n all and there might be a queue of lady patients to watch your leg muscles at work. πŸ˜‰ Give it a shot.

  15. hi there,
    Doc do post some tips on how to get those washboard abs u seem to have acquired or be in the process of acquiring

    Amit is right , we live in a diesel merc culture subsidized by the taxpayers…
    but hey the times they are a changing!
    Who knows one day the brave rambodoc might just influence the great cm buddadeb b to change his unhealthy smoking habit and and ride a bike?

    Gone are the days when i climbed the slopes of altamount road (where the rich folks live) and whizzed down at 40-60 speed
    My y suspension cycle has been lying around gathering dust and rust – the roads here are really pathetic and give me the backache…

    If u do consider buying one go for an aluminum super lite classic frame cycle – trust me, no gears but still it is a pleasure to ride it. A friend who is a fanatic has one – he cycled from opera hse to bandra and andheri on his alu bike and regularly cycles to navy nagar for boating

  16. So doc, what prompted or triggered all these changes in your life? And how are you compensating for (unintentionally perhaps) reducing your carbon footprint? πŸ˜€
    (Oh, the horror!!)

  17. Amit,
    I have no clear reasons why I changed my anatomy beyond the fact that I decided I did not like what I saw.
    And as for carbon footprints, I have no idea of how to compensate… maybe a trip to the US would be in order?

  18. R-Doc: I am trying to remember who told me recently not to exercise too much… πŸ˜‰

  19. I haven’t mentioned this before, Doc, but your healthy regime has inspired even me to improve myself. So, I have taken up weight lifting. I now buy only the heavier 32 oz. cans of beer rather than the lighter 12 oz. cans.

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