WHAT’S COOKING? MEOW!

Some Australians are eating feral cats. Of course, when civilised folks like the Aussies eat stuff like cat, it is environment-friendly, as the planet is facing an immediate and categorical threat from the damn critters! Similarly, the Norwegian moose is fair game because the damn animal is contributing majorly to global warming by its incessant farting and belching. Each moose is producing carbon dioxide and methane in tons every year. D-uh! They never used to do that before, I wonder why they started right now, in these difficult times?
(Is it not a brilliant idea to send a herd of these to the caves of Afghanistan and gas bin Laden out of his hole? In other words, give him a fart attack!? Why doesn’t George Bush think of this? Oh, Karl Rove has resigned, I forgot!)
Okay, back to this topic which, I must warn you, is not for the pussillanimous!
And, of course, this taste for catmeat is merely a more exotic expression of Western sophistication and civilization. When the Koreans do it, or the Chinese in Guandong do it, it is barbaric and typical of the bastards. When an American turns turkey to eat the cow, it is the good thing to do, prions notwithstanding. When the Oriental eats dogs and cats, it is simply a perversity of tongue, isn’t it?
Precisely how is eating a dog more unacceptable than eating a cow or a rabbit, I never hared from anyone. The Brit veal like his bacon, the French leapfrogs for his snails, the Canadian deerly loves the elk and moose, so why fault the Chinese hiss taste for the snake?
Why then should we condemn the Nagas for eating the dog, or shudder at the Bihari Musahar’s penchant for rats?
“Historically cats have been eaten in the West. Tales of cat-eating are nothing new and can be found in Charles Dickens’ “The Pickwick Papers” (1836/7) where Sam Weller tells Mr. Pickwick that he’s heard about pies made from kittens being sold on the London streets as ordinary meat pies.” This is an extract from an article which is linked at the end of this magnum opus.
So, would it be catty to say that the West is being asinine about non-vegetarian eating habits? Talking of which, the ass is one animal I greatly admare. Who ever heard of people eating it? Yes, the ass gets kicked, and one can get a piece of it, but who eats it? Er, I am briefly interrupted by my secretary, Mr. Page Down, who tells me that ass can be eaten, too. Oh, I guess this must be pretty rare outside the protected confines of the Congress in DC, where there is a documented taste for this dish.
For those of you who are interested in as superb an article as this one on this subject, read this. For the rest of you, eat humble crow!